I’ve dated a narcissist, a porn-addict and really loved a great guy who got addicted to opioids & became a complete wreck. I went to therapy and since then, I’ve cleared my head, worked on seeing the patterns and red flags… but it’s been a complete roller coaster for me. Ever since I went to therapy – a year ago- I lost all my friends and best friends because the therapist made me realize they’re all toxic or addicted and bring me down. I cut contact with my parents. Last week I’ve joined a photography club and went out and made some new friends. I downloaded Tinder and wanted to start dating again, this time with more awareness. However, all my dates so far have been a disaster. I feel there’s literally nobody there for me. I dream of a big family, my family is asking me when I’ll have a kid and it’s my biggest dream… just not with anyone. I come back home and cry, light some candles and dream of someone wanting to be by my side, support me & let me support him, a lover, a mature companion, someone I can accept and feel accepted with… and I’m losing hope and feel empty inside. What do I do? How do I stop feeling so damn lonely?
tl;dr I really want to have a mature relationship and settle down, but I don’t want to make the same mistakes. I feel I’m doomed and can’t deal with feeling alone but don’t want to settle for anyone. What do I do?
6 comments
Get a pet??? They are awesome companions for your situation until you find that diamond in the rough.
Try different dating apps. I might be out of touch on current apps (married 7 years) but I know back when I was dating, some of the free apps seemd to attract less serious types while other paid apps seemed more geared to people who were more legit.
Also, try meeting people through friends or volunteer organizations for causes that you are passionate about. This way, you are meeting people more likely to share common core values.
You don’t have to settle but you may have to sift through a lot of people. Make friends. Go to meetups. Play sports. Find groups of interest. You need to meet more people to find someone that will be a match.
I felt the same way. I’m in a wheelchair, work a lot, and was constantly cheated on. I stayed positive and despite my past continued to put myself out there. Fortunately I finally met an amazing girl who accepted me for who I am and is absolutely incredible! Stay positive and don’t lose hope! There is someone out there for you, you just haven’t met them yet!
When I was 28 I was going to what felt like 20 weddings a summer lol. I didn’t meet my husband until I was 31 and were engaged a year later and married six months after that. And it’s a really good life and he was worth waiting for!
I know you are ready to meet your person and I hope they get to you as soon as possible. Please try to trust that there is a plan for you and your march is getting to you as fast as they can. In the meantime keep working on yourself and try to find joy in the life you’re building for yourself. Travel! Cultivate friendships! Explore hobbies! Buy yourself flowers and make your home a happy space. ❤️
be glad that as a woman, you are never expected to be the confident assertive one