Okay help please 😭 my boyfriend (25 M) and I (27 F) have been fighting a lot. When we fight, he gets loud and very heated and swears a lot and interrupts me and it makes me flustered. I have told him several times that I don’t like when he yells at me because 1. It triggers me b/c of my past and 2. I feel like it makes things amplified. He frequently tells me I expect him to “be a fucking monk” and that he is allowed to yell at me if I make him upset. I just feel like I don’t know what to do because he says I’m too sensitive so I’m not sure if I am being too sensitive and should just let him yell at me or if this isn’t okay. He told me today he was going to break up with me because I will upset him (today we went to a football game, he was falling asleep, I said stop falling asleep it’s irritating me and he got mad) and when I upset him it’s then his fault because he yells at me. Sorry this is probably a huge cluster of words im just frazzled and not sure if I should tell my friends about this
TL;DR: my boyfriend thinks I’m too sensitive because I get upset when he’s yelling
9 comments
You shouldn’t wait for him.yo.end things, you should dump him now because he’s an insensitive asshole.
*he is allowed to yell at me if I make him upset*
Who the he!! “allows” him to yell at you? Lol.
Yelling doesn’t make you right. Yelling makes me think you are out of control and trying to intimidate me. Yelling makes me shut down and start looking around for an escape.
If his feeling, thought(s) are correct and logical, you don’t have to yell at me. Might doesn’t make you right.
*He told me today he was going to break up with me because I will upset him*
Sounds to me he was setting you up to pick a fight with you. Or he was trying to have you second guess yourself if he screws up and …yells. It’s YOUR fault! See! See! I TOLD you you would upset me!
Throw the entire man away, Op.
Break up already, jeez.
The shouting is toxic but so are you for getting mad at him falling asleep. If you’re enjoying the game, how’s it irritating you or really any of your business If he’s falling asleep
Sounds like you guys just aren’t compatible. There are people who get loud when they are angry. Thats not inherently abusive or even bad. But people who have sensitivity to it from being in abusive homes as kids where yelling was a prerequisite to being actually abused shouldnt be with those people for their own mental health.
So he was tired and you yelled at him for falling asleep, you’re complaining that he yells at you, he’s threatening to break up with you, you aren’t sure whether you can tell anyone about it…
This whole relationship sounds utterly exhausting.
Honestly, and with all due respect, it sounds as if you’re really not good for each other, and if this is how you both handle conflicts, I’d go as far as saying that neither of you are ready to commit to an adult relationship right now.
You “make him upset”, huh? So he has no control and it’s all your fault. Yeah, he certainly is a little boy but is that a friend? Seriously.
He is verbally abusive. Time to move on. Dump him.
You’re not oversensitive, you’re dating an asshole