My friend and I were supposed to hangout tonight and sleep at his house since he works all the time during tax season and he had a day off. When I went to his house we went out for food and went to Walmart.
After we got back he played video games for like two-three hours and ignored me the entire time. It seemed like he forgot I was even there. After like an hour I felt like turning off the tv so he would spend time with me.
After a couple hours I decided that I wanted to go lay in bed. An hour later he came into the bedroom and got in the bed. He tried spooning with me but I pulled away from him. He asked me what was wrong. I told him I’ll just go sleep on the couch or leave. He asked me again why I was acting this way but I ignored him.
I know I’m probably overreacting but I don’t understand why you would agree to hangout with someone and then ignore them the entire time. I want to go back in there but I feel like I should just leave. What do you think I should do?
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**tl;dr**: Friend wanted to hangout but ended up playing video games he entire time. Not sure how to respond to him.
5 comments
Sounds like he wanted to enjoy his day off and didn’t understand the expectation and thought you were cool just being around to enjoy his day off together. It’s healthy to be able to exist as separate people in the same space, especially with your significant other.
I think ultimately a lack of communication was the issue here, he probably didn’t do it maliciously. Maybe sleep on it and bring it up to him that you would like to do things together if you are going to go over to his house. Perhaps playing together or just having a planned date activity would be a good compromise before committing your time!
I’d leave, and give myself a chance to settle down.
Something to discuss at a later point in the cool calm of daylight.
Don’t think I’m making excuses, but for many people simply being in the same exact place even if you’re not directly interacting at all CAN be hanging out for them.
Many people think it’s enough just to be in the same place, they simply value you just being there. Since you say they’re busy, they’re probably killing 2 birds with 1 stop by relaxing *and* “hanging out”.
Just tell him you didn’t like what he did and why you didn’t like it and depending on his response you know what to do next. Though in my opinion I don’t believe it was malicious, it’s up to you.
LEARN TO COMMUNICATE, FFS!!! Growing resentment and giving him the silent/ cold-shoulder treatment, without telling him why is immature and insane! All through the day/ evening you could have said something. And when he asked why you were rebuffing him, you should have just told him. Not communicating and expecting him to read your mind is just immature manipulative bs.
You have to remember that you aren’t his whole life outside of work. If he’s only got one day off then he’s allowed to have some time to relax and play games, I don’t think it’s a fair expectation to have of him to not play games on his day off. Also you should communicate with him how you feel, he’s not psychic and you ignoring him asking what wrong isn’t going to help any issues