I 23F work from home and my friends are all over the place, both in my state and internationally. I don’t feel lonely at all. What I do despise is being told to go out more to find a boyfriend.
To preface I live in a sketchy area. Drugs are all over the place. There’s robberies, people getting assaulted, and just a lot of people looking for trouble. Lots of my friends left because things are so bad. There are things like bars, gyms, fitness classes, and events that happen. But for the most part either people will be too busy focusing on their own things, or you won’t find quality people. People act as if I can go to the gym and leave with a guy’s number.
Can we stop telling people to get out more to find someone as if they’ll automatically find someone?
7 comments
I agree!
Assuming you’re actually looking for someone, people act like it’s just a matter of going outside. Like you could throw a rock and hit someone.
Its even worse when you decide you are worth having someone decent to date. How dare anyone have expectations.
Dating just isn’t that simple anymore. Peiple don’t go out anymore. And there are lots of toxic and violent people. You literally risk your life just to date these days.
I think staying in your own lane, building the person you envision is more important than finding a significant other. Narcissism or not, unless you’re at the truest form of self, you won’t attract the type of relationship you desire. Keep doing you girl 🫶🏻🫡
I have the same problem, I just don’t like too much go to bars and my friends/colleges just go there to drink, I mostly go to the gym and some languages class at my uni,but si dont think people is too busy to have small talk sometimes though.In the other hand I think you should care about you think is the best for your lafi and happiness and if you really want to have someone as a partner,look that maybe they are telling you that because they think you could be happier having someone that love each other( oh well thats what some friends told me).
Girly I completely agree
Im in the same boat with my friends telling me I need to go out and find me a girlfriend. I just think when the time is right it will happen.I just don’t like going out too much or going to bars anymore it’s pretty much better to stay home and cuddle up on a couch and read a book or watch a movie while having a few drinks or I mostly go to the gym and watch sporting events.But I like small talk and I think people are too busy to have small talk sometimes anymore and just keep doing you .
Do people even have success handing out numbers?! I’ve never given my number to anyone that I’ve not had at least 2 genuine and naturally occurring conversations with (that applies to both men and women, despite being straight). And I NEVER use any numbers that are just randomly handed to me. There’s no foundation to that. What exactly am I supposed to say to her? “Hi, I’m that guy from the Walmart parking lot. Didn’t catch your name”?
I apologize. I lost sight of the subject matter for a moment. I would tell everyone to mind their own business. If you have to travel further than a mile to get groceries, that’s opportunity enough to bump into a soul mate. You’re no more likely to find someone by constantly exploring outside your comfort zone. Use the internet. There’s plenty of online dating solutions for people. If it’s as dangerous as you claim it is to be exploring the outside world looking for love, then by all means, lock yourself inside and forget anyone who tells you to walk through an active mine field just for the *opportunity* to find love.
You are a woman in the first half of your twenties. You absolutely can just walk up to a guy at the gym and get his number.