I recently got set up by a family friend with this amazing guy. We live in different cities, but I’m in his town about every 1 or 2 months. We’ve only met like 3-4 times so far (a few dates and slept together), but I feel like we’re really hitting it off and connecting and have a lot in common. He’s really wonderful and a total catch, and completely respectful. I don’t want to rush into anything, especially because there is a distance, but I am really starting to catch feelings and don’t want to move too slow either… which is now making me scared that he’ll meet someone else in his city since it’s not like I can see him every day, between now and when I’m next in town (though to be fair, he’s in an intense field and works 60+ hours a week usually). We’re not in a place yet where we’d be exclusive since we’ve only known each other for like, 2 months anyways on top of only having been able to meet a few times so far. But I just am feeling this mounting sense of nervousness that the next time I’m in town, he’ll have met someone else and I’ll be crushed. Just would love general advice on how to handle these feelings, or if anyone has had success dating this way, or general assurance about it he’s the right person for me, then he won’t meet someone else
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tldr: Started seeing someone amazing who I can only see every few weeks, worried he’ll meet someone else in interim
2 comments
Start this conversation with HIM. there’s no way of knowing if he’s got the same feelings or not but if you’re open with your feelings, there’s much less room for ambiguity and stress.
Long-distance, even sort of small distance like yours, doesn’t work without great communication. Start building that foundation now.
I would just tell him you’re feeling strongly about him and ask him what he’s feeling. If you approach it like “I really like you and I would be very happy to be exclusive with you and see where this goes” like, that’s how my now-husband approached it when we were 19/20 and now we’re 36/37 hahha! But if you just are CLEAR. with what you’d like, it will get you so much farther than stewing in uncertainty.