how to proceed with my ex?

19 comments

1. What you do is you say no, and tell her if she contacts you again, and it isn’t with an offer of exclusivity, then you will have to block her for constantly violating your boundaries. And if she does, follow through.

2. Block her.

   Stop rewarding her manipulative behavior with your continued presence in her life.

   All you’re doing by continuing to indulge her is making sure YOU don’t move on. By this point you are choosing to keep an unhealthy entanglement going. Choose yourself instead.

3. It’s called being used. She’s using you to make herself feel better, with zero regard for your feelings. Break ups are hard, but it sounds like you’ll be much much better off once you’re able to get over her. Which you won’t be able to do if you keep seeing and sleeping with her. No contact is really the only way for you to be able to move on. Good luck, you deserve better

4. I think she’s been pretty clear. She doesn’t want an exclusive or serious relationship with you anymore, but she’s okay with seeing each other casually. If you can’t stop yourself from running back to her whenever she snaps her fingers, then block her.

5. Oh man. Wake up and smell the coffee 🙈 your ex is spilling what bullshit you’ll listen to and because you’re lonely without them they know they just have to do the bare minimum to get what they need at that moment. You are the hype man for them and they get their confidence boost out of you. Then with their new top up of confidence they go out and date someone else. Doesn’t matter if they get rejected or don’t manage a second date as all they have to do is come back to you and chat some bs and boom! You’ve boosted there ego again because you never turn them away. And all they need to do is give you false promises. Stop listening to the words and start asking for actions to back them up. No more extra time. Real time action. They shouldn’t be seeing the potential. They should already know the potential and should be making actions to reinforce that and put you both in a good place to start building on something. Stop being their hype man and start being a person to be respected and listened to.

6. Maybe she’s just in it for the sex? Or she’s seeing if there’s someone out there who can treat her better then you did while stringing you along? Not sure just guessing tho

7. Block on all socials and messaging, or accept the fact that not all people are monogamous.

8. She’s using you broo

9. It’s not about the ex. It’s about you and ur values.
   Is she worthy of ur time, is she worthy to wait for, and does she respect ur values?

   If u can truly be honest about those questions… I think you found ur own answer to the question.

   A person values is more important then trying to be manipulate into someone’s else values. Must be strong for urself and what u believe in.

10. Listen to her actions, not her words. And block her so she can’t use you anymore. She clearly doesn’t want to be exclusive with you, and you don’t want it to be casual, so stop letting her use you. I know its hard, breakups always are, but in time it will get better. I recommend therapy if you’re able and reaching out, finding some friends in your area so you aren’t so lonely.

11. What you say and what you do are two completely separate entities. . If you’re trying to set boundaries in a relationship but ignoring your own standards every time she calls, she will continue to take advantage of your feelings for her. She knows that she can do what she likes and still get sex from you anytime she wants. If she is dating other people, that means that you are her back up plan at this time. You’re not going anywhere and she knows it.
    She also enjoys the power she has over you.

    Do yourself a favour and walk away. Stop all communication with her. If she calls, ignore it, or just block her all together.
    Time apart will give you both space to figure out what you want.
    It sounds like what you have right now is codependency. It can only get worse unless you cut it out.
    Stop chasing her. All you are doing is feeding her ego. She is using you and she will continue to do so for as long as you allow it.

12. She’s your ex. She broke up with you. She has made it clear that whatever you guys were doing before wasn’t working for her. No amount of “casual” dating is going to change that. If you want something serious/exclusive/monogamous/etc. you need to cut contact with her 100%. Don’t give her a reason. Don’t give her anything she can reply to in a way that will keep you wrapped around her finger and hoping one day she’ll choose you again. It’s not impossible that you’ll end up together again in time, but do not spend any more time holding out for that. You are teaching her that you are reliable and consistent in the worst ways. Why should she stop dating other people if you’ll always be waiting at the back door for even a chance at her?

    Three months is long enough. If she doesn’t want to get back together by now, you need to let yourself heal and move on. There are plenty of other people out there who do want exclusivity and who value that.

13. Your the issue, hear me out, she told you when trying to get bk w u she’ll be dating others, which you obliges. Then when you realized that she really was doing it, you demanded exclusiveness or no contact. Yet, 10 days go by she reach you, YOU oblige again, but your confused. STOP obliging her. She’s not the one for you, if she was she wouldn’t keep going bk and forth and talking to others at the same time.

14. OP, I believe you and I have/had similar situations. My ex did the same to me pretty much. She broke up with me but kept me close promising of wanting to get back together and “sorting things out”. I just moved to the new town, and before she broke up with me we were dating for a little bit over a year. Eventually she dropped me and all the “promises” were gone as if it were never there. I was afraid of the same thing too – being lonely. Hell, all by myself in a new town. But little by little I met new people, got a new job, and now, 2 years later I’m dating this wonderful girl that I would like to marry one day. She’s always been by my side and our arguments, however many or little we had never even touched the topic of a break up. We learned to sort them out. Now, I look back, I’m happy my ex broke up with me and never made the decision to get back together, because I would have never met my current girlfriend who is so much healthier than my ex. Don’t be afraid of loneliness, you will meet someone believe me. And keep in mind “you won’t have new and better clothes, if your closet will be full of the old ones”.

15. Go out on some dates.

16. She wants what she can get… or she has changed her mind and is willing to be exclusive. Either way, she misses parts of you and your previous relationship.

    Re-affirm your boundaries and ask if she is agreeing to stick with them. If not, cut all contact with her. If so, I hope your relationship works out this time around as you go slowly to rebuild.

17. Move on. Let her go. Get a pet. Even if it’s a rock.

18. Bro, I know this is difficult to say but. Here goes. Make sure you are wearing a Jimmy when taking care of business. Don’t waste your time on just one person. There are “ Plenty of Fish “ out there. Knowone is worth your emotions. Don’t worry, because obviously she’s not, an has the right idea testing the waters. Go enjoy some “YOU” time. Meet some ladies, even if it’s on just the socializing level. Or of they just want Booty calls, just Make sure you are wearing a Jimmy. Have some fun… Don’t waste your time with any one woman. The right situation always presents itself. Women tend to do the same thing, too; they go back to what they are comfortable with until they realize they have found something better. I wouldn’t waste my time with any one woman unless she literally wants to make things happen. Goes both ways..

19. I’m sorry though, it’s hard when you love them… An by all. means, I know this isn’t easy…