as the title reads, my boyfriend wants to end things because his feelings are slowly fading but he still has love for me as he says. And he wants to remain in contact. For context, We live about an hr away from each other and we visit once or twice a week back and forth ( he visits me and I visit him). So he said he didn’t want to lose me as I’m his quote “ only ex he’ll want to keep in his life”. So we could continue to hang out as friends so we’d be still seeing each other etc. but it kinda doesn’t make sense because to me it would be pointless. Yes, I don’t want to lose him either because he’s a nice guy but that the same time it would be kinda of weird for me because of my feelings if that makes sense. But I’m just confused why he would want to keep in contact.
12 comments
Probably so he can continue to fuck
Exes can be friends but not instantly after a breakup. Processing, healing, and fully moving on have go happen before having any chance at a friendship. To him, he probably thinks it can happen quickly because (I’m sorry to say this) he’s pretty much half-way moved on already, whereas you would be starting from the beginning so it will take you much longer.
It could be a number of things. Maybe he genuinely wants you in his life as a friend. Maybe he wants to keep you around as an option in case the grass isn’t greener. Either way, I’d recommend going no contact for awhile. This will give you both (but most importantly you) time to reflect, heal, process, and decide if you actually want to be in each other’s lives going forward. If after a month or two you’re in a place where you’re fully ok with JUST BEING FRIENDS, then consider meeting up for lunch or something. The important thing is that if you decide to see him again in the future, it’s as friends with no ulterior motives – you need to GENUINELY be ok with only being friends, otherwise you’ll end up miserable.
Fuck him time to move on
With my cynical hat on I would say that he probably wants to keep around as someone he can always return to when future relationships fail.
Fuck him
Move on girl.
There is plenty cock in the jungle.
Some people remain friends with their exes, some don’t. Some exes remain friends, some don’t.
If you still have feelings for him, I recommend a clean break so you can move on. You can always become friends down the road if that remains between you.
Ummm, all he wants is a booty call on speed dial. If you do this, i promise he will try and fuck you. Bet.
As a guy that’s friends with his ex wife still I support it but it can be awkward at first fight through it
It surprises me that people can be so vicious towards exes. Sometimes we regret the break up we initiated, sometimes things just don’t work out. Exes can be friends if no one did something unforgivable.
That said, if it would be weird or painful for you to be friends, tell him that.
He wants to be able to still sleep with you but not obligated by any responsibilities of a relationship. He doesn’t want to put any effort into you. It sucks he pulled this bait and switch.
Best to break away and go no contact, because if you stay friends, and try to tell him the arrangement is confusing or it’s hurting your feelings, he will absolutely pull the “bUt We ArEn’T iN a ReLaTiOnShIp” card.
Nah