So I (F18) have been talking to this guy (M18) for a while now. We’ve been out together 3 times.
On our 2nd hang out, he tried to pursue sex with me and I told him I was a virgin and wasn’t ready yet which he completely understood. Instead we just did “hand stuff” (if you know what I mean).
On our latest hang out (3rd one), he said he wanted to get to know me better. So we spent most of the time talking. At some point we started intensely making out. When I asked if could go to the back seat to take things further, he said that we should wait and that he wanted to get his std test results back. And that we could do it when “the time is right”.
After that conversation he immediately decided to take me home.
So I’m wondering is he disgusted by my virginity? Does he not want to be with me? Or am I overthinking it?
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Update: the title seems to be misleading for many, that’s my fault, I should’ve worded it better.
Also thank you everyone for all of the advice!! it has calmed my overthinking about the situation a bit 🙂
37 comments
He’s being respectful to you. You said you wanted to wait. So he’s waiting.
You are super overthinking it.
He is being respectful of your desire to wait! Plus, it sounds like he went and got STI testing done without you even having to ask, and that’s awesome!!
Agh yes the very frequent situation of a young man been disgusted by a virgin, but seriously don’t worry about it he’s just been respectful and doesn’t want your first time to be bad.
He is being safe and respecting you. Unfortunately, you are in control here, so you kinda have to be fairly clear where your boundaries are.
He does not want to do anything inappropriate or cross any boundaries. This is a good thing.
Sounds to me he’s respecting you and trying to be safe about it when the time comes to go that far. I wouldn’t read too much into it.
He sounds very thoughtful and sweet. He is in no way disgusted.
I think he is trying to make it known with clear boundaries that he cares about you. He is getting his test results… definitely not something you want to rush.
Sex will be there for the rest of your life, take your time and enjoy the process.
I think you’re overthinking.
He sounds like he is respecting your boundary. The first time you have sex can be a big event emotionally. For some people it means a lot, and for others, it’s not a big deal.
I love that he mentioned he got tested and wants to wait for the results. I think that’s great. He sounds very respectful and mindful of your boundaries and emotions.
He sounds very thoughtful and considerate. He’s being very responsible too! This is a good sign of who he is. It sounds like he’s wanting to make sure you are safe from catching anything from him as it is clear he does not have to be concerned about catching anything from you. He wants your first time with him to be special and worry free.
Wow. Overthinking af
He’s a respectful, thoughtful guy. Take it for face value. Until he gives you any other reason to think otherwise.
Also back seat sex is cheap and not fun for a first time experience.
Miss ma’am, read what you wrote. You told him that you weren’t ready. He’s being respectful, if you want to take things further, let him know and discuss boundaries and whatnot.
Case dismissed.
You should be happy that he wants to get his STD results back first
No, this is definitely a good thing. Get to know him, get handsy, take your time! Sex is still going to be there when the timing is right. And heck yeah if he’s saying you’re a virgin and I want to make sure all my downstairs parts are clean that’s respectful and responsible.
He’s being respectful, it seems that he really wants to respect you’re boundaries. That’s cute
As an addition, upvotes all around for the positivity and support! So nice for Reddit. 
Sounds like he’s trying to be respectful of your boundaries and give you time to feel ready rather than pressuring you into having sex.
Sounds like a good, respectful guy. Keep seeing him!
i think you should be thankful y’all waited until he got his std results back lol because what if he tested positive for something bad? i dont think he’s disgusted, he seems he got his head on straight. just take it nice and easy, and let him know you’re ready when the time comes.
Coming from a 21f who lost her virginity in the backseat of a car- just don’t. It is not worth it. At the very least wait for the opportunity to have sex in a bed. Car sex is vastly uncomfortable for everyone involved the majority of the time and you definitely deserve better for the first time.
As for the guy in question, he sounds like he’s very thoughtful and trying to make this a good experience for you- don’t overthink it 🙂
I think he’s being respectful towards you. BTW, you’re better than losing your virginity in the back seat.
babes just talk to him.. sounds like he’s just being cautious and it’s a good thing he’s being safe. Ask him how he feels then tell him what you do/don’t want to do
If he was opposed to being with a virgin he would just end it with you.
I don’t think he’s meaning anything in a negative way. He probably wants you to really think about it before giving it up. It’s a bigger thing than most teens think it is. Kudos to him for wanting to respect that boundary and not just take it.
“Take things further” isn’t a super clear phrase and could imply hands, oral, PIV, etc.
If someone told me on the second time seeing them that they wanted to wait to have sex, then the third time seeing them, gave some indication that they might want to do it at that moment, I would also turn them down, for a couple reasons. One, because they absolutely might regret it later, and I wouldn’t want to make their first time something they regret as soon as they come back to their senses. Two, I would feel like I was doing something wrong knowing that they definitely didn’t mean “let’s talk for a few more hours first” when they said they wanted to wait. Plus, it could reflect really poorly on me even if they didn’t end up regretting it
I would guess taking you home immediately after was a “security” measure for himself to make sure he didn’t have a lapse in judgment and change his mind about your offer
One thing I’ll say that I didn’t see in any of the other comments is that you told him you were a virgin, and he still chose to hang out with you again. Also, I personally consider “won’t touch me” and “intensely making out” to be inherently incompatible phrases lol. But regardless, I don’t think he’d do either of those if he was disgusted by you
omg. He is totally being a responsible great young man. Im surprised because of his age.
Your lucky the man wants it to be special or later AND that hes taking a STD test..wow
really…
hes a keeper
As you don’t have sexual experience, there is a good chance you lack the tools (body language, mindspace, vocabulary, etc.) to effectively communicate about your preferences w/r/t sexual desire and escalation. On date 2 he demonstrated his desire to get intimate with you, but backed off once he recognized you weren’t completely into it–a sign of a decent guy.
*He then immediately* went to get tested as a way to again demonstrate his desire to go further with you, but in a much less pressuring way that’s focused on your wellbeing.
Honestly it looks like you’re getting a procession of green lights that this guy is decent. Until you make it known in no uncertain terms that you want things to progress, he’s gonna respect your boundaries and hold off. If you aren’t sure about what to say yourself, start with a page out of his book and get tested, too! It might seem redundant but the gesture is meaningful regardless.
Make up your mind on what you want. The first time he made advances, you said you weren’t ready yet because your a virgin, the next time you suddenly decide youre ready, don’t tell him this, but get offended when he respects the boundary you set in the first place? Honey, I know you’re young grow up a little bit if you want sex. It requires emotional maturity, and communication between both people. If you’re ready for him to take your virginity, tell him that. Don’t get butt hurt when he’s just respecting your body.
It is odd that he was ready for sex last time, but now he’s not? Ask him why he wasn’t worried about giving you an STD the first time lol
You should be thankful he is getting a std test
You literally said you werent ready. He respected what you said and also remembered what you said.
If you are ready to have sex you have to tell him that you are ready. Just making out and going to the backseat isnt gonna help him know that you are ready. He might want to hear you say you are ready.
sounds like a nice guy doing all the right things and being respectful toward you.
Honestly he sounds extremely respectful and really wanting to know you as a person and not just for sex. Why are you tryna rush him anyways? And the fact that he’s waiting on his test results means that when it does happen he wants it to be safe for you. Don’t let this guy go. I’ll be waiting for the next part of the story.
Wow. This guy has a lot of respect for you and you should really understand that this is how you should be treated.
He’s probably respectfully thinking ‘let’s at least wait until there’s a bed nearby before this girl loses her virginity’
Car sex is pretty crappy aside from the excitement of doing it semi in public. Not ideal for your first time.
He probably wants your first time to be special. He even took a test to make sure you’re safe.
Marry this guy!!! (Obvs wait a few years first)
I like this guy. If he wants to make sure he is clean before going ahead with you then kudos to him. In fact I would be concerned if he did NOT want to be tested.
As for the “disgusted” part, no. Being a virgin is not a bad thing. Anyone who says that you are “disgusting” for being so is just immature. You can be inexperienced, sure, but not disgusting.