Going anon here, so for context we dated for a little while years back and ended up breaking up but we are still on great terms. This person is visiting town for a short while and we’ve been seeing each other a lot, but every time things start to get steamy, they make excuses before anything more than kissing/ cuddling would happen. Usually it involves something we should actually be doing or needing alcohol/weed. During sex in the past, we’ve had to stop because they were feeling too overwhelmed which is fine and they really value my patience and willingness to not pressure and immediately stop at the drop of a dime (which everyone should but I digress). The problem is I can’t accept another potential relationship in the future without having sex, it’s just a need I have and we’ve been talking about kinks too. I’ve been trying to understand why and I’m sure I just have to open a dialogue. It’s just super weird to me because my ex has also had sex with others who they don’t care about nearly as much but just think of it as like a “are they done yet” type deal and it’s nothing to them. So idk it makes it feel like because they care about me so much that I can’t have sex with them unless they’re under the influence enough as a result and it messes with my head. Any and all advice would be appreciated thank you for taking the time to read this!
Edit: some trauma is also in play
1 comment
So just talk to this person?