Td:lr – my boyfriend doesn’t love me after 6 months and made comments about past relationships and ours, how can I let the comments not hurt me and upset me?
Me and my boyfriend have been together for the last 6 months. It’s been a great relationship but recently he got a new group of friends and our relationship dynamic has shifted slightly.
Last night we had a long talk about our relationship and he said that he didn’t love me, he could love me in the future but right now he didn’t. That his past relationships mean more to him than this relationship and if his ex came back into his life and wanted to get back together he would. Now, obviously the truth is important and I respect the honesty but those comments hurt me and I told him that.
I don’t want to end the relationship because I love him and the relationship is great and it’s still new, but because the things he said upset me. I’m finding it hard to be close to him, how do I let the comments not affect me and not make me upset?
14 comments
He’s telling you the truth about how he feels, even if rudely. You should listen to him and find someone who will love you for who you are.
You are young. You have a lot of life ahead of you.
I would pull back, lay low, and see how he responds, if he doesn’t respond, I would let him go. Both of you are too young to start being trouble to each other. The odds of the two of you working out forever are incredibly slim. Yes, it is uncomfortable, and it is unfortunate that a lot of people harden from experiences like the one you are going through. I hope you don’t.
Good luck to you.
Like you said, honesty is very important in any relationship. You should take what he says very seriously. Personally, I wouldn’t waste my time with someone who is openly willing to leave me if their ex came back tomorrow. You deserve someone who wants to be with only you (if you’re monogamous anyway) and that clearly isn’t how he feels. Sounds like he’s using you as a placeholder
> if his ex came back into his life and wanted to get back together he would.
He told you he would ditch you if his ex wanted him back. It’s only been 6 months and you have your whole life ahead of you. Find someone that will love you for you.
Not loving you yet could be fine. People move at different paces. But being willing to leave you if his ex came back is pretty awful. That’s the part that would be a problem for me. He’s outright told you he’s settling for you, because he can’t currently have what he actually wants. I’m not interested in being with someone who feels they are settling for me, when I could (and did) find someone who actually wants to be with me.
Why are you trying not to be upset? He told you he would leave you for his ex if given the chance.
“Thanks for telling me. I think I need to be in a relationship with someone who is more likely to love me than to leave me for their ex”.
Respect his honesty and take him at his word. He isn’t that invested in your relationship.
Girl, dump him. He says he doesn’t love you and that he wants to be with his ex. It’s not worth it.
No no on please leave him. It would hurt more to leave him after dating 1 year, 5 years, etc. I don’t like how he’s not valuing you or your time. You need to be dating someone who is CRAZYYYY about you.
You gotta go. You’re literally replaceable and just holding a spot in his life until he’s done.
>Last night we had a long talk about our relationship and he said that he didn’t love me, he could love me in the future but right now he didn’t. That his past relationships mean more to him than this relationship and if his ex came back into his life and wanted to get back together he would. Now, obviously the truth is important and I respect the honesty but those comments hurt me and I told him that.
Honestly this is so disrespectful that I would assume its a break up. When someone tells you they dont love you, and that they would jump on their ex given the chance, then it’s a big clue that you should move on.
It would be incredibly foolish to stay with him. You should not try to get over this or not let it bother you—you should let it motivate you to expect more in future relationships.
Leave him and find someone who will love you for the person you are and not someone holding place for someone else.
He sounds like he wasn’t ready to date again and you’re the rebound. Don’t stick around in a loveless relationship. Move on for your own sake. You deserve better than this.