I’m (27M) and my girlfriend is (24F) and my relationship with her is going downhill. It all started about 2 months ago when we were going out to a bar for some drinks. After being out drinking for about an hour we were about to head home. But a girl who was sitting across from us who was clearly drunk came over and started flirting with me right in front of my girlfriend. I told her I was with my girlfriend and could she please leave but she kept going until eventually she got bored and left.
When we got back to the car my girlfriend went crazy and started yelling at me and saying why was I entertaining another girl or even speaking to another girl. I told her that she the girl was drunk and it wasn’t a big deal and then she swiped at me with her car keys until she nicked me. About a week after that we were on the couch and she said she wanted cuddle so after about 30 minutes I scooted over so I could enjoy the movie and she went crazy again. She started ranting and saying that I couldn’t stand her because I didn’t want to cuddle and I told her that I was just uncomfortable and trying to watch the movie. She then started biting me and punching.
Just yesterday I told her that I need some space and she went ballistic it was the craziest I’ve seen her. She started literally screaming and crying then she she got angry and started attacking my dog then after I got my dog away from her she pulled a fork and started ripping up my couch and then she started attacking me with it until she finally calmed down. After I thought she was calm she said that if I ever thought about leaving her or mentioned it again she would make me regret it. I really want us to work but What do I do?
32 comments
Why would you wanna stay with someone that’s abusive?
If she’s getting abusive, you’re getting gone. People that love us will not threaten us to stay.
If she went for your dog that shows her true character. Run now before you end up being a shell of a human being with no dog. She is a psycho, end of.
leave now!!!
I’d break it off with her and go back and talk to the nice lady at the bar.
If she’s abusive, she wont change, and there’s only so much of that you can take as a man. If you stay with her you will reach your breaking point and quite possibly become abusive yourself or do something you regret. Get out now before that happens.
That’s nuts, I hope you find the strength to leave! No one deserves that
Anxious attachment gone crazy. Dump her.
First thought is that hurting animals is a common precursor to SERIOUS domestic violence. I’d think it was time to get out of there. She has also threatened you and hurt you by biting and punching.
There are certainly times for listening and understanding and reassuring. Those times seem to be long gone – she has crossed the line and you need to put yourself first. How would you ever trust her in the future if you are essentially her captive now?
Break the trauma bond and attachment. This is abuse
There’s no going back from attacking you and your pet. Whatever her problem is, mental or otherwise, she can solve it for the next dude. You now know she’s willing to harm you. And if you don’t care enough about yourself, she might just decide to kill your dog or destroy your entire home instead of a couch. She could abuse you and call the cops and get *you* arrested. She’s biting you like an angry toddler and screaming irrationally. It’s time to go. And don’t leave the dog alone with her. She attacked the dog to hurt you. Don’t think she won’t escalate in the future.
First I want to say to the op, thank you for being strong enough to say what really happened, this is abuse and others need to realize that it’s okay to speak about abuse. Secondly, abusive people usually continue being abusive in most cases, unless a professional can reach them mentally and emotionally, such as a psychiatrist.
If they are not willing to get help with a phd, which in most cases they will not accept counseling, then that is a red flag that this behavior will continue.
For your own mental and emotional health in the future, as well as for the physical protection of yourself and your dog, you need to separate yourself at the earliest convenience from this person.
Any person who is treated like this, should leave the environment and presence of the abuser, sometimes this needs to happen when the abuser is at work so as to give you enough time to collect your possessions and leave without an argument or physical altercation.
Also, if you need to make a police report, please do so before the abuser pretends that you abused them and calls the police on you, which is a common tactic for someone like this, once they realize that you are no longer under their influence, and as retribution for you leaving them.
There is a possibility that you are with a narcissist, but based on the information you gave there is no way to know that for sure. It will not matter if you are with her, or the next guy, she will probably continue this behavior pattern in the future with the next man she is with.
Not that my personal advice matters, but I was in an abusive relationship in the past, and I wasted years of my life on it. My personal advice is for you to get out as soon as possible. The person you are with needs professional help and you are not qualified to give it.
I’m not telling you what to do, just giving you some friendly advice from someone who has been in a similar situation. I wish you the best and hope you make the best choice for you and your pet dog’s safety! 🕸️🕷️🕸️
She can get in the sea.
You still want to make it work after she attacked the dog, you and the couch? You gonna keep ignoring the red flags till she burns your house down next?
No, no you don’t want this to work. This can’t work and it never will. This will be the rest of your life. If it’s your place, kick her out. Just end it. You should not put yourself through it because you are already falling out of love and soon enough you will despise her. Just end it now before it gets worse. I know it’s hard, but trust me.
You need to get out. That girl will fuck your life up.
You need to break it off.
OMG! Ruuuuuuun bro. She seems to be mentally unstable. If you marry her, she is gonna abuse your children mentally and physically and you definitely don’t want that
Yikes. This is only going to get worse. Get out (and get your poor dog out) now before one of you gets seriously injured. She sounds like she needs some major help.
She’s a pyschopath. Run.
RUN FORREST RUN!
I’ve dated a girl likes this. Leave now, the abuses will only get worse if you stay. I ignored the outbursts and red flags because the majority of the time she was a good person but it got bad fast and I regret not leaving sooner. The debt, stress and court cases aren’t worth it.
> I really want us to work
Dude, she’s a violent, jealous, unstable mess of a person. I know love makes us ignore red flags, but you’ve ignored some of the reddest, most **obvious** and terrifying red flags out there.
Get out immediately – there is no good ending to this. It will only escalate. The longer it goes on, the worse it will get (for you). She needs serious therapy before she is anywhere near being ready for a relationship.
Really? You really want it to work when she forked your sofa? Wow!
Please go to the police first, then break up over the phone so she can’t hurt you or the animal and tell her never to contactyou again. Block her everywhere. When she shows up at your place, and she will, please don’t answer the door and call the police immediately. If you go back to her it will end very badly for you or you dog.
sounds like a personality disorder. It is not an excuse for abuse you face. You’re not responsible or qualified to help (if that is the case). You should tell her to get help/therapy, and break up with her.
Run
get the fuck out of there quickly any woman who can hurt a dog to prove a point ain’t worth anything bin her off
Well if she wants to throw a tantrum like a soiled child you can spank her and put her in time out like one. I’d probably demand an apology and have her pay for repairs to what she damaged. She clearly has issues with boundaries and thinks that her actions are acceptable and don’t have consequences.
If you really want to make it work with her, you’re going to have to get her into therapy to work out her rage and boundary issues.
However like most are probably saying, you’re probably going to have to leave her because she’s crazy and you can’t fix that usually.
You need to get out of that relationship and go to the police about the abuse. It’s obvious that she is manipulating you and you won’t be able to do anything if you stay in this relationship. The best thing you can do is learn from this and make sure no one else ends up in the same situation as you were by getting the police involved.
It appears that her true colors are finally coming out
You should not entertain that relationship anymore if she’s put hands on you. Also when you’re with your girlfriend, no matter where you guys are in your relationship, and even if a drunk woman starts flirting with you, shut that down asap. If she won’t leave when you ask her, remove yourself. No matter what the situation is, consider what your person might need in the moment. Not bashing just my opinion, Hope you and you’re gf are safe and good as can be
Bro, why would you come here to ask what should you do? It’s obvious. Come on, man.