What defines a rough patch in a marriage and how long does it last before you eventually give up?

5 comments

1. It will last indefinitely if the issues for the rough patch aren’t addressed properly.

2. So i read through some of your post history, seeing that the two of you are first time parents to a new baby, I’d say this is probably a rough patch.

   A new transition as a couple, navigating something you guys have never done, but have to constantly be on about. 2 months postpartum too, I’d want to say this is just a rough patch as long as there’s no abuse happening, give you, your husband, and your relationship some grace and compassion.

   May need to also seek some individual and marriage counseling though since you say there’s some resentment that’s lingering.

   Hang in there

   ETA:

   Seems like there is abuse going on, so yeah i don’t think that’s a “rough patch”

3. Based on your post history, I would leave. Your husband emotionally and verbally abuses you. That’s a good enough reason to get out of a toxic relationship. You have a baby now, do you really want them growing up with this man as a role mode?
   My friend went through something similar to you. She was one of the strongest women I knew, she literally became suicidal after she got with her now ex husband. She got the fuck out and is doing so much better now. I suggest you do the same. It’ll be tough but my god you will be so fucking happy when you’re not attached to a man that makes you feel worthless every single day. Leave OP. Leave and go find your best life, find your happiness.

   edit : abuse isn’t a rough phase. It cannot be fixed via therapy.

4. Rough patch would be when you have defined the issue and it has an end point you are moving towards. Think job loss and the financial impact that comes with it. If its a patch then both partners adjust spending, the partner with a job may pick up extra shifts or overtime if available while the other actively searches for a job. Or a newborn stage where both parents are sleep deprived and struggling to adjust but are working together to give each other breaks and pull their weight until baby sleeps better and becomes a little more independent. If your not both actually working to get to the end of the patch then its not a patch. Its a lifestyle.

5. Counselling.