For those in a healthy relationship… What did it look like at 3 months?

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1. I was excited to hang out with them and felt comfortable.

2. In terms of milestones (ie first date, meeting friends, etc) we moved really slow. But it felt fucking magical right from the start. And it has been for the last 3 years.

3. Hard to remember exactly; 3 months was more than 17 years ago. We were living together, spending a lot of time together, talking constantly, consolidating our stuff to sell their house, going on weekend trips together, planning for getting married, and random other life stuff. We were both working full time, spending time on our hobbies, hanging out with our friends, etc. We were navigating some friend group drama that eventually led to us cutting off an entire set of friends but it hadn’t reached that point yet at 3 months. We were figuring out how/when to meet each other’s parents.

   Overall, we were very excited, in love, and happy to be together which is still true today.

4. We’ve been together 20 years so… month 3. Let’s go back in time!!!

   Month three was very “sweet” of a time. Getting to know each other. Having lots of long conversations about all kinds of things late into the night. Still very much in the “wanting to show the best side and impress”. Not yet ready to get into deep and happy things really but also still able to be honest when it mattered. Lots of chemistry. Deciding to date exclusively. Met one friend.

   Mostly memories of happy, laughing, fun times, wanting to spend lots of time together. 🙂

5. At 3 months we had our first and only fight, which prompted us to talk through the issue and establish boundaries. I was living at a tiny studio and he had been staying with his parents while he got back on his feet after some personal issues, so we mostly hung out at my place. We were both broke, so most of our dates were stuff like picnics at the park or cooking together at home.

   He’d come over on friday night and leave on monday morning, then come back for dinner and stay the night in the middle of the week, and I missed him every second that we were apart (and that’s still true now, 5 years later). Once we realized that he was actually spending more time at my place than his own, we started looking for a place so we could move in together, and started talking about eventually getting married and having kids.

6. I’m definitely an exception to the rule here, but I knew I loved him and I had been living with him for about a month already. We have a lot of history together even prior to us getting together. But I was extremely happy, he and I had reconnected after some years apart and I always considered him “the one that got away” so to finally end up together was a huge surprise.

7. We went on our first trip as a couple to the Grand Canyon. By that time I already knew that I wanted to be in a committed relationship with him and he felt the same way.

   It’s been more than a year since we got together and we’re still going strong.