Went out with my dad and my brother last night and my dad noted that he didn’t get an anniversary card off either of us…. again. He got one off all 3 of our step siblings (and one off their kids).
My parents divorced when I was 2 years old so I always grew up with them separated. I was 21 by the time my dad remarried. Thus there were never anniversaries growing up. Feels weird to start now.
My brother and I agreed that an anniversary is a personal thing between the 2 people who are married. What do you all think?
26 comments
No way! Much too private for me.
I couldn’t even tell you the date.
I get my parents a card because I feel obliged to. My brother doesn’t because he says he wasn’t even around when they got married.
Nope. But, also I don’t buy ’em anything for Mother’s/Father’s day either, so maybe I’m just a bad kid.
My big sister organised for us to collectively do something for my parents’ 25th anniversary, then again for their 40th and 50th when those came around. We never bothered with any of the other ones. My dad didn’t go to work on Fridays; and years later we learnt that he normally took my mother out for lunch that week of their anniversary – but that they’d just never mentioned it.
Not usually but yes for the big ones. It was their 50th anniversary in 2019 so we got a card and gifts for that one.
My parents never took their anniversary seriously (partly because there could be 3 different dates for it), so I didn’t either. They aren’t interested in presents, either, unless it’s a food item or small souvenir.
I did make an exception for their 50th and sent a card, but it was mid Covid so they’d had to cancel the planned holiday and party.
We don’t really celebrate ours either and I’d never expect a card from the kids.
My wife and I don’t even buy each anniversary cards so anyone else can definitely bugger off.
We got my parents cards sometimes as kids. And got them a present for their 25th anniversary. But generally no.
This really can only go two ways. 1) A tradition that is a must each year, and doing otherwise would be odd. 2) Oh no, another one? When are you going to give me a gift that is unexpected?
Although, we must admit, these are easier to store than “You’re the best (insert position)” mug.
Imagine having a few dozens of those.
I try to remember my parents’ anniversary, but to be honest I wouldn’t do it for anyone other than siblings, parents or children (when they are old enough to get married)
If I went to the wedding I will send a first anniversary card to the couple. After that nothing until ‘big’ anniversaries, 25th or 50th. I agree that anniversaries are between the couple, to mark their special day, nobody else gets involved.
Can’t say I ever have, may wish them a happy anniversary if I remember.
Will get a card off the folks and inlaws when it’s our anniversary but the kids don’t know or care that much.
Isn’t this how everyone does it?
Yes always buy my parents anniversary cards
Nope and couldn’t tell you what date it was.
Aside my our 25th anniversary, never had one from our kids either.
I guess if you have a particularly close relationship then maybe but not here.
No, but my sisters always do and I always feel bad, then forget again next year.
The other half and I don’t celebrate our anniversary (I doubt either of us could tell exactly when the date is) so anyone else sending a card would just be weird.
But I couldn’t tell you my parents anniversary either, it wasn’t something that was ever celebrated.
If you’ve never done it, it would be odd to start now. I wouldn’t bother.
Not even sure of the date of my parents’ anniversary. They buy each other cards but there was never an expectation that we would acknowledge it as it was their relationship.
The only exception was that we had a party for my grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary and bought cards/presents for the party. It was a nice excuse for a family event but not something we’ve done for any other anniversaries.
Your Dad is being weird. A marriage anniversary is between the husband and wife. Not a matter for the children to get involved in or send cards for.
I wasn’t invited to my parents wedding. So why would I buy them a card???
I got them a present for their 30th. I never did anything else beyond that.
My dad once had a go at me for not sending a well wishing text, and I hadn’t even realised what day it was. Funnily enough I don’t remember other people’s anniversaries
My brother called me a bad son, which is hilariously ironic because he’s too cheap to buy them birthday cards – let alone presents
Every year. They’re 45 years married this year, so siblings and I are starting to plan for their 50th. I also send my sister and BIL a card on their anniversary, and used to send one to my brother and late SIL. For big anniversaries I get them a present too.
I do but it’s just ticking a box. I don’t exactly see their marriage as a particularly good one where my Mum is absolutely horrible to my Dad who’s only fault is trying to make her happy. After a few years of not giving them a card or even acknowledging it my Dad called and bitched me out about it so now they get a card and a phone call to keep the peace. It’s not that I don’t love them, I just don’t feel the need to do anything to acknowledge it.
My mum brought up how I never give them and anniversary card and my response is this isn’t a marriage, it’s a hostage situation. As you can imagine that went over like a lead zeppelin.
I don’t even know the date and I was there for it. So no.
My other half doesn’t get an anniversary card for his parents either.
For me it’s more of a thing done between couples. When my OH and I get married I won’t expect people to remember our anniversary. Most people have enough dates to remember with family/friends birthdays and what not as it is.
I do not because they are both dead.
When they were not dead, no also. We did have a thing for their 25th with some relatives.
No way, ahd got him to expect you to get one for him and your step mum is particularly weird