My GF will flip out on me over NOTHING. She thinks all of these 100% false things, throws them in my face, starts a fight, and runs off. This situation on repeat.
Background: I pay 100% all bills (have been since we started our relationship, she JUST got a job (which is great) but only pays for her car now (which I was paying for the past 2 years). I buy everything else. Groceries, baby stuff, steak dinners, day care fees, shopping, mortgage, EVERYTHING.
I proposed to her about a month ago…things were happy for me…i guess not for her.
I announced to her some great news the other day, that I was going to be making even more money at work. Should be good for her right?
Well she starts in with “what are YOU going to do with all of YOUR money”…I stated over and over again that it was OUR money and I will continue to take care of her and all the things she wants. Should be happy right? I guess not. I asked a simple question: What will you do with your money. She said spend it on herself and save it. I asked if she would ever contribute more, in any way and got SUUUUUPPPPER pissed at me. She claims since I make more money that she should NOT have to pay for anything and this started the end. Eventually that night she took her engagement ring off and throw it at me. WOW!
She starts arguing about nonsense and saying that a real man should do even more. I simply stated that I WAS doing all the things and then some. She kept at it and instead of going out to dinner (we where already in the car) she turns around and we go home (she was driving). I was in shock. Like WTF>
Well, she does this thing were she fights with me, blames me for the fight and says I need to change (i ask her HOW and in what way, and she claims I SNAPPED AT HER?!) and she storms off and leaves for the day.
EVERY. TIME. She picks fights with me. She disappears for the next day.
HMMMMM….
Outside of the fights, she has been showing me like little to no affection and NEVER wants to have sex. When we do, she just does it and lays there and don’t seem to enjoy it. I told her this bothers me and recently she just says “my sex drive is just low” suddenly now it’s low? HMMMMMM….
ALSO, she has been fixing her self up. Hair, nails, new clothes, new nose piercing, new everything.
ALSO, I did the laundry and pulled out a sexy see through lingerie dress out of the dryer. I instantly asked her WTF is this, she wasn’t wore anything sexy for me in 3+ months. She claims she has no idea and it probably just fell out of her dresser and on the floor and ended up in the dirty hamper.
tldr; It FEELS like she has something else going on. She is freaking out on me and only cares about money and what I can do for her, yet shows very very little affection towards me. When I talk to her about this, she has excuses and blames me 100%. Do your thing reddit. Tell me I am not crazy.
25 comments
Sure, we can tell you you’re not crazy. You’re not crazy being right that she’s wrong. You are, however, wrong to be focusing on the wrong thing here.
You’re planning on entering into a legal relationship with this person. Seems it’s always been a disaster. I hope “breaking up now” is true.”
She’s cheating on you after using you for years and taking you for granted. Why do you want to marry this person?
Always trust your gut.
Even if you’re wrong. Your gut may be wrong sometimes but a vast vast majority of the time, it isn’t.
If you feel there’s something going on, no matter if it hurts or a fight breaks out, confront her with your suspicions and your feelings.
If she says nothing is happening and you can’t come to terms with it and your gut is still sounding alarms, leave.
Had a girl like that not too long ago, a month later after I left her by purely trusting my gut she admitted there was someone else and she just kept repeating there wasn’t.
Always trust your gut brother, even if you’re the only one who believes you
you already said you were breaking up, so not much to add here.
You aren’t crazy. You’re ex seems to have been abusive to you.
I believe the standard response in 2022 is “The lion, the witch, and the audacity of this bitch”.
You reap what you saw, i’m not even sure i wrote this correct, but man you really outdid yourself.You loaded a gun with a bullet and now you are wondering why it fired. Answer: it was loaded.
I mean you just explained the role of a sugger daddy/momma in a relationship
You will find way better version of a girl and she might even be grateful if you continue your man act.
she is probably cheating on you.
You’re crazy to have put up with her as long as you have. Breaking up is the first sane thing either of you have done.
Is she cheating? Probably. Does it matter in terms of what you should do? No. Cheating or not, the only thing you should do is make it clear the relationship between you is over completely and permanently and, if the baby stuff you’ve been paying for is for your child, contact an attorney asap to file for as much custody as you can get.
You can’t buy love. You’re lucky you figured her out before you married her.
I’m praying it’s not your baby that youve been paying for. This woman is going to screw you in court if it is. If it is your baby you need an attorney asap.
Otherwise it sounds like you’re better off without her and thank God you didn’t marry her. Paying all the bills, doing laundry, getting nagged all the time and getting no sex? Doesn’t seem like a great relationship at all.
That’s blackmail!!!!!!dump her asap
She’s cheating. You mentioned “baby stuff”. If the kid/s are yours, get a PI for evidence in the custody hearing. If they aren’t yours, walk away or better yet kick her out.
You just say in a sub sentence that you have a baby by writing that you pay for all the baby stuff. When was the birth? How involved are you with the childcare? Can she maybe have postpartum depression?
But it is mostly better for both that you break up.
Just be broken up, she sounds terrible and you deserve better.
I don’t even need to get in to what may be happening- like cheating- I can just stick to what has happened between the two of you to say that you need to be broken up.
Get this woman out of your life. You will have less stress and more money. There is no reason for you to be fully supporting another adult, capable human. Think of all the money you will save without her. Think of all the time you will save not arguing over stupid things.
Gather up your expensive and important items, put them somewhere safe. Tell her the relationship is over and that she should move out since you pay for the home, or you leave if she won’t, of course factoring in all the legal stuff. But make an airtight plan:
1. Cut off all access to your finances, including credit cards
2. Make sure she doesn’t have keys to your car or access to any other property.
3. Figure out the living stuff- if you have a lease and she refuses to leave, break it, if you own the place and she won’t leave, eviction and go stay somewhere else, etc- but you need to get space from her immediately. If you stay under the same roof, she will try and be nice and get you back and you need to be GONE, now.
4. Do not talk to her about working it out. If you have had this kind of fight even one time before, there is no working this out. She is manipulating you, so put a stop to it.
why the fuck are you with a person who makes you this unhappy
You are crazy. Why is she is the one calling off the engagement? You should have called it off long ago. Whether or not she is cheating is almost irrelevant….did you think she would give you half if she won Megamillions????
So you picked yourself a lying, cheating sponge of a partner.
You do know that life is much better without these sort of people in your life.
I don’t know if she’s cheating on you or not but you two don’t sound compatible.
Starting fights could be anything, but do you want to spend the rest of your life like this? Disappearing the next day doesn’t sound good. Fixing herself up could be anything. Women do their hair, nails, clothes etc because they want to. Sometimes it has nothing to do with men. Low libido could be anything. Lack of affection could be anything. Sexy see through dresses don’t generally belong in the dryer. Usually those are hand washed and air dried flat or on a hanger. Could be something or could be an accident like she said.
Has the flipping out, fighting and running off only been a situation since you’ve been engaged? If she did this before you got engaged, now is a great time to break up. If she started this after you got engaged, now is a great time to take back your ring and break up. If you decide to stay together, she needs some therapy to find out why she’s so angry all the time.
Time to go young man.
Why would you ever willing sign up for a forever of this?
Never understood the your/my money concept. Married 45 years and very happy handling joint accounts.
Kind of related?: We know three couples who talk about “their” own money and all seem miserable. One of them we believe cheats on his wife but we have no proof. Seems odd he goes “up north” every weekend all year long. Half the time his wife stays home.
Whether she’s cheating or not, this girl is toxic. That ‘a real man’ to me is one of the most demeaning things you can say to a guy (and I’m a girl).
Get rid of her. You have a child so unfortunately you can’t cut her off completely. But be there for your baby only. Let her go.
Updateme!
You’re crazy if you stay in that relationship. Is there a child involved?
OP you are not crazy but reading this post is making me go a little mad. She’s using you and will burn you out completely. Please see this engagement break off as one of the best things to have happened to you. Wishing you all the best for the future.
You’re not crazy. She sounds exhausting. I also think she’s cheating. She’s gaslighting you. I know it hurts right now but things will get better once you 2 break up.