So my GF more often then not just doesn’t seem to care about what I have to say or what’s going on in my life. Like I’ll text her something cool that happened to me like “woah check out this cool thing I found” or “guess who just got this super epic thing 😎” or stuff like then and she’ll usually just reply with a single word like cool or ok.
Or when I’m telling her about something else like “I got ‘bullied’ into watching this movie with my house mates” or how I accidentally dropped something on my foot my GF will either just say oof or sounds like a you problem, even if I had a stressful day I’ll still just get an oof. Even when we’re not texting, like once I burnt my self cooking and she just said oof then called me an idiot. When she rants to me I try being there and fully involved and make sure she feels like I’m listening but sometimes it’s just like why do I try so hard for someone who doesn’t seem like they care back.
Then when she talks to me sometimes she just sounds demanding or will whistle at me or just give me the same ‘commands’ she gives her dog like ‘git’ or ‘NO’ or ‘fuck off’ other times in person I’ll ask her for her opinion on what she would like for dinner or something and she’ll just say ‘idk dude figure it out yourself’ heck sometimes I’ll ask her for ideas when idk what I wanna do for dinner or something.
I’ll be driving and sometimes she will be all bossy and keep telling me to ‘hurry up’ ‘stop driving so fast’ ‘OMG YOU DONT HAVE TO STOP TO TURN’ ‘You missed the fucking turn!’ or shit like that, but the one time I told her “you need to turn here” (keep in mind it wasn’t like TURN HERE BITCH, it was literally like how a driving instructor says it like, you need to turn at the next light or whatever) she screams at me and says “I know how to fucking drive!” Same thing happend when I was confused about a parking situation, I said “I don’t know if we can park here” and again just screams “I KNOW HOW TO FUCKING DRIVE!” But ya know if I don’t tell her to turn she will also get mad and blame it on me why she missed the turn.
I’ve tried talking to her about it and she either just says, “I was never taught how to handle my emotions” “I treat everyone like that so don’t feel special” “I just don’t like being told what to do” or something similar to that.
The few times I have snapped (solely because I get irritated she does everything she hates people doing to her to me) and angrily said “yeah I know what I’m fucking doing” when I was driving she got mad turned away and told me to get the stick out of my ass. Then if I say something like oof or her other responses she gets mad and sometimes goes off on me.
She’s not always like this though, she sometimes love bombs me a lot and will be super lovey dovey then other times she’s kind of still lovey but not love bombing, or she’s really distant and really doesn’t seem to care.
So, do I just start treating her this way back, I know it isn’t right nor healthy but I’ve tried talking to her about it many many times but she usually gets mad when I do.
Also we’ve been together for a year now and she’s my first for everything, I’m her first healthy relationship according to her but her 5th boyfriend over all I think. Also, we’re both 22 and after reading this post over again we sound like a bunch of children… this literally sounds like a middle school relationship when we’re full blown adults.
Anyways.. what do you recommend I do, or what other advice do yall have?
11 comments
I recommend you leave. Yikes. You sound really lovely, tbh she doesn’t get it and won’t get it, go to someone who will cherish you.
You don’t like being treated like this, she won’t stop. Time for someone new that wants and can give respect.
I’d never recommend a race to the bottom
Unless a taste of one’s own medicine might cure them, its pointless, going off what you wrote I don’t think you will see any change if you sink to her level, just more friction
Maybe its time to consider if the person she is, isn’t the person you want to be with as people rarely if ever change, especially those that give off so many “unstable” vibes.
She sounds like my worst nightmare. She needs to deal with some stuff, get some sort of help instead of taking it out on you because you seem like a decent person who doesn’t deserve this kind of rudeness. The fact that you can’t express what you just said in your post to her without her getting mad is a huge red flag. I would leave tbh. I’m genuinely wondering what good qualities she has or had that even allowed for this relationship to happen.
If this ‘relationship’ isn’t ended by you TODAY you need to give your head a shake
She finally found a healthy relationship? Great! Now it’s time for you to do the same. She said she never learned how to control her emotions? That’s unfortunate. Give her plenty of space so she can figure it out.
Here’s a tip: If you’re thinking of treating her how she treats you to show her how bad it feels, then she’s not treating you right.
What do you like about her? She sounds like she sucks. Not even like she sucks at being in a relationship, she just sounds like she sucks in general.
She’s sounds crazy . You should leave and found some one who isn’t crazy .
Have a conversation about this with her, if she doesn’t commit to changing, leave. This isn’t acceptable behavior. She doesn’t know how to control her emotions? Well she better learn to.
i dated somebody like this. super disinterested in my life but if i ever showed disinterest in what she was saying she’d explode. was so demanding and nitpicky but if i raised an issue she’d fly off the handle and threaten to break up or give me the silent treatment for days. it never got better. you can’t really communicate well with somebody like this.
why do you want to be with her? she sounds downright mean.
She is not your girlfriend.
And yes, you do sound like a child clinging to its first toy.
You need to mature and face reality.