I notice that when young men ask about dating, people either tell them that their desperate or to wait until they are older. As if that’s the reason, guys find it hard to date. Than I notice young men are single way too long to the point it is harder to date women. They hit mid twenties still trying to understand women.
This is shooting alot of them in the foot, as women see it as a red flag. And tbh, they should! How it is a man has made it so far in life and hasn’t dating yet. A woman pretty much will have to give on job training for someone who supposed to be qualified. This becomes a catch 22 scenario.
But this stems from the belief system of desperation and time. At the end of the day, as a person you will sound desperate when you first date. It’s natural! Not because you are desperate but because you are expressing your feelings. This is a skill called emotional intelligence and no amount confidence or self esteem makes you good at this. It’s more about practicing. Than you find clever ways to bring things up.
Lastly, the time factor. This is secretly the paradox of choice at play. We really don’t have time yet we feel will have alot of options. Sure dont go out with anyone but dont get relax about the process. As a guy, dating has to become part of your personality. We usually are the ones who have to ask women out and be romantic. This is better to do when you are young! Before you are set in your ways. Don’t listen to people telling you to wait because most likely these people never waited a day in their lives.
So desperation and time to me is one of the worst dating advice out there.
Let me know what you guys think?
4 comments
I think the most common advice for men, and what men most often need to hear is to swallow their fear and talk to women. That’s the number 1 reason that men struggle with dating, as far as I can tell.
Nothing in this rant makes even the tiniest bit of sense. Maybe it’s the English as second language thing, but this reads as yet another Reddit sociology theory.
Women get the exact same advice on this sub. It’s always “lower your standards, wait until your older or lose weight and work on yourself”
There isn’t much more advice strangers can offer I guess
How would starting to date late in your life be a red flag ? Why would it be comparable to a “job training” or why are men supposed to be “qualified”?
Dating as a man is not a “test of aptitude” and if a woman gives me even the slightest sign of entitlement like “You should be the one doing everything”, then okay, bye, good luck. I won’t waste my time on someone that just wait to be seduced.
On the other hand I wouldn’t care if I was someone’s first time. Yeah sure, they might be a bit immature and they might be lacking some “emotional intelligence”. But if I like this person I think it’s natural to trust them, be patient and helpful. I don’t see why it would be different for men and women.