I was happily single for a long time when covid hit. It was thr first time I felt lonely. So I to Tinder. I met a lot of losers until Markus came along. He was kind, laughed easily, and enjoyed the same activities I did. We were smitten with each other.
I told him that I was dating with the intention of marriage. If he did not want the same thing then no hard feelings but we should go our separate ways.
A year and a half in he admits that marriage might not be for him. At two years I said let’s go our own ways and he asked for 4 days to think about it. He came back and said marriage is the option for the future.
He is still married to his ex wife, but separated for 3 years. He will not post any pictures of me on his social media. We do not live together and he has no intention of doing so. He lives very comfortably on his own.
Despite saying he wants a long future with me, I can’t help but feel dismissed by him not taking my one requirement seriously. I feel like he is playing me and not genuinely building a future as much as he is looking for a good time.
What are your thoughts? Am I a feel for not ending it the minute he said he did not want to get married again?
3 comments
I personally think love is a little too complicated to make one boundary the decider. I’m imagining in my mind a dude who gets 10/10 marks in most of my wants and maybe a 2/10 in two or three. Overall grade of 9/10. In such a scenario, I am not trading out of a 9/10 partner because I have a few dislikes about whatever the 2/10 faults are unless they are like tip tip top priority in my partner and I probably wouldn’t grade him as a 9/10 overall for it.
Rationally categorize the strengths and weaknesses in him and decide from the whole package whether this letdown is enough to swing the pendulum to the wrong side of your love.
He’s got the life he wants, and no change will be made because it does not benefit him. This doesn’t sound like a good fit imo.
Why won’t he divorce his wife