Tl;Dr
My while dating life I’ve been very worried about making sure everyone likes me, massive people pleaser, worried about my looks to a depressing degree, and any guy who shows me any amount of affection I think “we could date I like him”. Help?
So for yearssss any guy who shows me any amount of affection or shows they’re interested, even if I absolutely hate them or think they are not my type, as soon as I know they like me I want to date them. Now I thought it would stop now that I have my husband, but I’m still deeply concerned with how I look to everyone and if they like me I think “if I ever wasn’t married, I would totally date them”.
So for example:
A few days ago this (probably 60) year old guy (I’m f25) told me I had soft hands and winked at me when I handed him his money at work. And I immediately looked down to see if my stomach looked flat enough and looked in the mirror to make sure my hair looked ok.
And for the bath 7 months I worked with this guy(m32) I despised. I mean I prayed daily he would get fired. He was racist, hateful, arrogant, rude, anger issues, lazy, he screamed at everyone, terrible at his job, he stole money… etc. Towards the last month before he got fired he was suddenly nice to me. Showing me memes on his phone, texting me to see if I needed help at work (he was the assistant manager), get real close to me, pat me on the shoulder, whatever. Everytime I would give him a very blank face and say “please don’t touch me” or “ok”. Never entertaining his nonsense. Then he got fired. Well a week ago 3 people told me “oh he totally fell for you. The last month he stared at you all the time” and for whatever fucking reason I thought “I should text him and see how he’s doing”. I immediately slapped myself and was like “wtf is wrong with you you hate this man?” And went back to reality but I don’t know how to stop these thoughts? Or what is wrong with me?
1 comment
Definitely don’t have anything to do with that manager. Sounds like he’s bad news. I used to give any guy my attention too because I had really low self esteem. Now I only talk to and date people who I actually find attractive the first time I meet them. Do you feel that you have self esteem issues or issues with confidence? Is it about not wanting to be alone so putting in the effort into the first person that puts the effort into you?