On the lines of licking kissing touching and going for it without having to be “do I have consent to do that?” and “how long will that consent last?”
It seems like I am pressured and of course fearfully obsessive about getting consent for everything I do that is preventing me from having sex and hooking up. Even though I understand sex is supposed to be spontaneous and natural, but because of how some individuals are actually abusive that there is this frantic need to specifically get consent for everything they do as in get permission every time or risk being charged as a sex offender and going to jail despite not meaning to be abusive like an actual sex offender as the wording of the laws to me generally is “unwanted and lack of consent”.
As a youth, I was traumatized by a spoiled, privileged girl who was allowing all the boys to touch her ass, especially coming out of a sexual harassment seminar in school but as I had went for it, she not only wouldn’t let me (I’m not mad at that part but the following) but had abusively threatened to press charges on me with her maliciosuly overwhelming social power for sexual harassment due to my autism and for me accidentally annoying her talking about a subject she clearly wasn’t interested, and she had bullied me for it that once again I was severely traumatized by it that when a woman genuinely approached me out of interest in my later years, I would shriek in fear that if I had done something sexual especially not asking for it (and due to my autistic social difficulties) that she would abusively press charges on me for “Sexual harassment”. please help, thanks!
4 comments
From your post history this appears to be something of an anxious obsession for you. You’ve been posting about it for several months and always get good responses which don’t seem to help you feel better.
You need a therapist to help you with this. I don’t think Reddit is what you need.
Let me tell you as a women how hard it is to *prove* sexual assault or harassment.
I am someone who was in an abusive relationship, he raped me daily. After a year of this, i went to the police. The police wanted *proof*, physical evidence they could use. His text saying he raped me, that wasn’t enough **proof** for that. He got to walk free knowing fully well that he SA’d me multiple times but since the justice system is messed up, he got to walk off scott free because I didnt produce enough physical evidence to tie him to the crime.
>but had abusively threatened to press charges on me with her maliciosuly overwhelming social power for sexual harassment
She was just saying this to scare you, there would have been many witnesses to back you up and the Camera’s as many schools have security Camera’s for this. She would have never pressed them anyways. People say that to manipulate others into thinking they did something bad, when they didn’t. Its a shitty thing to do. If she meant it, she would have went to press them not preach about pressing them.
>I would shriek in fear that if I had done something sexual especially not asking for it (and due to my autistic social difficulties) that she would abusively press charges on me for “Sexual harassment”.
If women are approaching you, that means they are either interested in you or want to get to know you. It doesn’t hurt to ask them ” can i do this?” If they say “yes”, ask again for a double consent. If they say “no”, move on. It doesn’t hurt to ask for consent, it doesn’t hurt to ask multiple times. My current partner constantly ask throughout our time if im ok with it. Too which i respond “yes”.
They would have a hard time proving sexual harassment. As someone who was sexually harassed at an early age. Once at the age of 13, by another student; he got off scott free, only a slap on the wrist is what he got for harassment. Then again when I was 16, when a 45 yrs old man Harassed me but he was in a position of power. That was the **only** time i was ever taken that seriously for Sexual harassment during a court hearing. He’s never allowed around 16 yr old and below unless the parents know him personally. Hes not allowed by parks, schools or anywhere that have 16 yrs old. He has this conditions for the rest of his life, because he did it to multiple underage girls while being in a position of power.
You aren’t doing anything wrong, but are you in therapy at all? What that girl did, gives the rest of use a bad name. We aren’t all like that, sure a few shitty ones but most women understand consent and when to give it or ask for it.
you have to understand not all consent is verbal, it’s always good to clarify but body language works just as well. so pay attention to her body. if she flinches or tense up ask if this is okay, get the consent to move forward or not to.
sexual assault happens when she is unable to give proper consent or she says no and you continue. also things like pressuring her etc when she has already said no etc. but generally it’s not something you should worry about as long as you’re paying attention to her words and her body language, you’ll be fine.
you’re probably also aware that women will also be afraid to say “no” or feel pressured to do something. so there is nothing actually wrong to getting confirmation that she is okay. or when things start to go towards sex try reinforcing that she can stop at anytime and it’s totally fine with you.
No one wants to do anything with an autistic.