Thought on Dating Older Women

I’m a 42 yr old divorced woman, no kids, financially successful, and often told I look to be in my early 30’s.

I get hit on A LOT but I’m very selective on who I let in to my life and my bed. Met a guy 8 years younger and we’ve been friends for over 3 years. We’ve hung out a lot, taken trips together, slept in same bed lots of times.

I know there’s an attraction and there was definitely flirtation throughout the years but he always stopped it even after being the one to initiate it. We’ve both dated other people but he wouldn’t talk about other women to me for the first 2 for some reason. Only recently did he open up and mostly because I drag it out of him in an effort to make things feel like a normal friendship and get rid of some of the awkwardness the mutual attraction created. There was even one time we were texting & he suddenly put his phone in focus mode but replied to my Snap. I teased about him being on a date which he confirmed but then proceeded to Snap back and forth even after I told him to stop being rude and put his phone away.

We had sex 1 time about a year & a half ago after a night of drinking. We remained friends and for a few months after this he was flirtatious when we hung out but it was definitely less often than normal and then he eventually told me we should stick to being platonic friends.

I always suspected his hesitation was due to my age but didn’t confirm this until a few months back when we were talking about our checklist for life partners. He’s 34 and mentioned he wanted someone 30 or younger because he wants kids in a couple years. Other than that I check all his boxes but know there’d be no possibility because of the age difference and I checked myself out mentally in that department.

He made a comment a few weeks back telling me he had a visual of me that got him hard. Since I know things would never evolve into anything else I suggested a FWB situation because there’s obvious attraction. He finally told me yesterday that it wouldn’t be just sex between us and he’s concerned I’d want more to which I told him I’d already checked myself out on that possibility & maybe in another lifetime where I was younger then I’d want more.

He’s compromised on his checklist before in dating a 26 yr woman with kids (not just her) that ended up cheating but I have to respect the age thing is something he won’t compromise.

Nothing I can do about this situation but I’m interested in hearing what guys think about dating an older woman with my specs. Thanks!