I’m baffled. Guy seems very into me. He texts first like 80/90% of the time. Sends x’s or hearts often. He slid into my DMs after I had a somewhat viral tweet. We had matched on Tinder before, apparently, and he recognised me and wanted to congratulate me. Texting ensues, he asked me for drinks a few days later. Great date. He started holding my hand and seemed shy kissing me. We went for coffee the next day (his idea). On Wednesday we went for drinks again. More hand holding. All initated by him. He seemed shy about kissing me, took him like 3/4 hours to find the courage and he didn’t even kiss me good night after he walked 30 minutes out of his way to walk me home! At night! When I said I’d happily get a taxi?
As we parted he said see you next week. He alluded to future plans saying “you like Shiraz, I’ll remember that😉” or saying we should play Mario Kart together. I asked when he wanted to meet next week and if so, maybe for bowling, and he said he’d love to and will let me know when ?! Well it’s been 2 days and he hasn’t. Still texts me all the time. I don’t get it. In fairness, he’s very busy. He works in social media advertising and manages several accounts. He’s also a freelance graphic designer, has a few thousand followers and recently agreed to a big new project. Also had soccer training twice a week. But I’ll let you know feels like such a blow off. Idk why he still texts me. Only last night he said he wished I was coming to his graduation night out (which is tonight). I couldn’t as Im at my parents until tomorrow, which is 3 hours away. So novel aside, “I’ll let you know” is textbook he’s just not that into you? I feel like giving it 2 days and bailing if he hasn’t made plans by then.
9 comments
Sounds like he’s busy managing his personal life and you’re just overthinking. Chill give him a bit, you’ll scare the poor guy away
Deeeep breath now, he’s definitely in to you! I’ll let you know is extremely fair when you don’t know when you’ll be able to commit time to someone, especially if you’re afraid of setting a time you might have to cancel or reschedule. That’s a whole lot of nice/sweet things to be put off by one comment, idk why he still texts me sounds like you’re just as ready to blow him off, ya know? It’ll be okay and I hope y’all have fun!
I don’t know about you, but I’d be feeling pretty insulted right now. At least he could explain why he doesn’t know when he could meet you for bowling. Or maybe he’s so busy he just forgot you even asked him about it? Did you try reminding him? He does seem to want to see you again, if he’s talking about wishing you were at his graduation night out.
I don’t get “rejection” vibes from any part of that
100% overthinking, and exactly what I’d do as well. Myself and my girlfriends would assume the same, but a lot of the guys I’ve talked to in the past just say what they mean with no more layers than that. It’s been weird recently trying to get myself out of the headspace of reading into things, but it’s a much healthier way to live and I’d recommend doing the same.
So it’s likely that he’ll just let you know, as he said. But, I think it’d also be important to let him know you’re feeling hurt or anxious over how long it’s taking him to tell you, probably after giving him a little more time first. If you want to go further with him, building up open/honest communication is a must.
He seems interested but low effort. If he wanted to pursue you seriously he would. You have to remember this guy probably isn’t celibate either if he has some social media popularity. It does seem like dating you isn’t a priority to him, no matter how into you he is.
I’d let him slowly drop off. I don’t recommend you ever chase a man. If he wants to plan a date he will. You’ve extended an invitation and have been very inviting. He knows you’re interested.
Maybe. If he’s still texting you but hasn’t made an effort to set aside time to see you, he’s just not that into you.
Give it a few more days and ask again. If he’s still cagey, tell him to let you know when he has time.
You’re gonna scared him away!!! Breathe and relax give him some space. He’ll call you I’m sure after his graduation. I’m sure his graduation is more important than planning a date.
Try not to read too much into this! If he wasn’t into you and said this, that’s different. But signs are saying that he is, so it’s probably genuine. Dating is anxiety provoking, especially when it’s going well.