TLDR: boyfriend was under a lot of stress and didn’t have a sex drive, but now it’s been 3 months and it’s starting to make me feel insecure
Hi, me and my bf have been together for a little over a year . so pretty much 3 months ago my bf had told me he was super stressed out with work/school (was in between jobs, had a really important final coming up) and didn’t have a sex drive.
I understood since he was under a lot of stress. Now he’s settled in his job and isn’t in school anymore for the past about 3 weeks. I asked him how he was feeling about sex and he said it’s not on his mind but would let me know if it changed .
Nothing in our relationship has changed other than that. He tells me he promises it’s not me and he is attracted to me, but I can’t help but feel insecure. We still cuddle all the time and he still shows me physical affection. Sex isn’t a #1 priority for me and right now I’m okay, but I just more of miss the intimacy and feeling close to him.
5 comments
There are other ways to be intimate and physically close also
Hmm, “three weeks”. And he didn’t seem traumatized by the work/school bit.
And the earlier frequency? Twice or more per week was typical?
I’m suspecting he’s finding porn more comfortable. I could be wrong, though.
Have another conversation with him about it. Tell him you miss feeling intimate that way and that you’re feeling insecure because you want to be desired by the one you love. If you want something out of a relationship, you have to ask for it and, sometimes, compromise. He may want to go without indefinitely, that’s okay for him. Are you okay with that? What are your boundaries? Talk to him now before you begin to feel really hurt and resentful. Sex is a part of many romantical relationships, it’s a perfectly natural conversation to have. You’ve got this.
You have to dig deeper at the issue. It’s not normal and it will take a toll on the relationship and your mental health. So tell him if he cares about the relationship to start putting an effort into understand what the problem is and how to fix it. Otherwise get you a new boyfriend.
how was sex life before this… important detail