This has been stressing me out so much lately, along with all of the problems I already have, my girlfriend is acting weird and cold for no specific reason, I know she’s been busy and stressed out so she doesn’t call me much anymore, maybe once a day, she told me that if I don’t like that she ain’t calling much we can take a break, she literally said this out of nowhere and I responded saying I’m totally okay with that and I understand that she’s busy letting her know she can call me whenever she’s available, no pressure.
So she calls me like once a day before she sleeps acting so weird and cold, and if I ask her if something is wrong, she says nothing is wrong, even when I tell her that I love her she responds with “okay”, so I keep asking if something is wrong and she finally says “I’ve told you that we can take a break if you’re not comfortable” like it’s either she treats me this way or we take a break, she doesn’t even wanna discuss nothing, and I can’t see her because she says she’s busy and can’t go out, we live two hours away so it would be difficult for me just to go see her for like 5 minutes to see what’s wrong when she doesn’t even wanna meet, she might even get mad if I show up.
If any of you is wondering if something has happened prior to that, literally nothing has happened, we were all good, I can’t think of anything that I did that could bother her in any way.
I’m stressed out and I have no idea what to do, I understand that she’s busy and anxious but that still doesn’t make sense, I can’t understand how that can be a reason for such treatment.
TLDR: My girlfriend is acting weird and cold and whenever I try to communicate with her she says “I’m just busy and if you are not comfortable we can take a break” and this is stressing me out.
2 comments
I hate to say it, but given the distance between you, these are classic signs that she’s found someone else local. She may not have the courage to break it off so she might be trying to get you to be the one to end things. This would also paint you as the “bad guy” for ending things letting her feel justified in starting up with whoever she wants to see next.
Some other options could be that the “honeymoon” period could have ended on her part and now she is really feeling what it is like being in a relationship without those fluttering feelings. Maybe she is just mentally exhausted or is no longer in a place where she can put time in for a relationship and that also causes distance. She could be overwhelmed with constant contact and she is shutting down in that way. Maybe she had just out grown the relationship as well and it happens. I don’t know if any of these are what’s happening but you need to have a sit down with her and ask “do you still want to be with me?” Then ask yourself if you can see a break working or if you would rather just build on a relationship. Either way, take a look at this relationship and think of how you would respond if a close friend or family member would ask in “their” position. What would you honestly tell them or suggest?