It’s not that I don’t know how to talk to her, but I’m not exactly a professional at expressing my feelings. My GF and I have been dating(officially) as of very recently. I am a bouncer at a bar and met her one day at work, We started talking shortly after and then we started dating about a month or so later. I’ve only ever been in one serious relationship(lasted a year and a half through highschool) so I’m not too educated in the subject but I know relatively how things are supposed to work. When we are together everything is perfect, we go on dates, we have movie nights, and we enjoy each other’s time. Sometimes this is difficult due to our conflicting schedules and that we are both busy including school, so we try and make it work best we can. But when we are away, when we communicate over the phone, she seems relatively distant. She told me she’s always like that and I believe her because of how she talks to her sister over texts but I’m having trouble trying to figure out if I should just let it go or talk to her about it. I also seem to make all the plans and I know in order for a relationship to work it should be pretty much 50/50. I’m her first boyfriend so I’m know she’s pretty new at how being in a relationship that isn’t a friend or sibling is supposed to go, so I want to help her through that because I really like her and I want to be the best boyfriend I can be. I also don’t want to be overbearing because I know that pushes some people away, I just want us to talk more, because I love talking to her especially when away. I know that couples don’t need to talk 24/7 but I think words of affirmation are really what I’m looking for. How do I mention that to her without coming off as a suffocating individual? Should I expect things like that?
Thank you Reddit!
2 comments
You can talk to her and express how you feel without shaming her into doing things. You can just say that you feel like you need a bit more communication when you are away and maybe try doing different stuff with her. For example, when me and my Bf were long distance, we watched the same movie while being on the phone, so we could comment on it without having to constantly talk, which makes you feel like you are sharing something with the other without intruding too much.
From once you’ve described everything sounds fairly normal in your relationship and you have to understand not everybody is going to respond to text immediately and with these long drawn out texts and Pages some people just don’t like doing that and if she doesn’t respond to you and text the way you’d like be open before it about it and try picking up the phone and calling her maybe that’s a solution because if you can’t climb the mountain dig under it go around and make a tunnel if you like her enough to want to be with her you should like her enough to want to make some changes and make it a compromise between both of you so that you can both be happy and satisfied and never be afraid to use your voice to express your feelings because when you don’t express how you feel be a good or bad you’re not being honest with yourself and you’re not giving your partner a chance to really be the best partner they can be for you because they don’t have all the information and anyway even if you do end up in a disagreement it’s the makeup sex it usually makes it better