How to talk with girls (or guys)

I saw [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/socialskills/comments/y7crb7/psa_talking_to_girls/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) by a girl asking guys to please stop treating them as sexual objects, and talk to them normally. Well worth a read.

It got me thinking on how I became so good at talking with girls (am a straight guy).

I used to have the same problem and the biggest bang for the buck has been stopping focusing on girls as potential relationships/dates/whatever and, instead, exposing myself to loads of them and becoming friends with many.

These days I have a few social circles where girls are the majority. There is one specifically where I’m the only guy. I have absolutely zero problems chatting with anybody, girls included. How did it happen? Like the poster said, I just started treating them as… people. That’s it. Just like with guys, if I vibe with someone I try to spend more time with them, if we don’t we part ways or stay as acquaintances.

Doing this will make you understand that girls are not special, or at least they’re just as special as guys. They have their problems, issues, and everything else. Again: they’re just people. And you’re doing yourself and themselves a disservice if you believe otherwise and act differently with them.

“But OP, I can understand this rationally, but I still choke when I talk with them or get nervous, how do I fix it?”

Exposure therapy.

I’m not going to lie, it’s going to take a while before you get used to talk and act normally with the opposite sex. But the only way to do improve is to put yourself in situations where there’s plenty of them and you’re forced to do so. I always recommend picking up a social hobby that is at leat 50/50 women/men. Examples are partner dancing, indoor climbing, yoga, painting, and so on.

By getting exposed to people you will naturally develop more social awareness and month by month you will become more finely attuned on how communication works and, most importantly, you will fully internalise that we’re all just people and no one needs to be treated differently just because of their gender.

There really is no other way. No amount of reading stuff here or thinking will help you fix your insecurities and issues, go out and experience it firsthand. It will make you step out of your comfort zone, it will suck sometimes as you will inevitably have missteps, but by persisting and being humble it will 100% get better.