My husband and I have a very active sex life. I have often wanted to make a video of us having sex, but he refuses. He won’t even allow a video of me giving him a blowjob (which means his face wouldn’t even be in it). He is older than me and very conservative in his ways. I guess I just wonder if anyone else had a similar disagreement in their relationship and if so, did you come to some sort of compromise? I told him that it would only be for our own use (for us to watch later as our own personal porn video), but he still refuses.
20 comments
He already said no, why aren’t you respecting him?
Compromise by asking him to fuck you on front of a mirror. That way you both get to watch, but it’s not saved anywhere. It’s an easy, low pressure way to dip someone’s toes into it.
You do have to accept that there’s a very good chance he’ll never be okay with it though.
Why is it so important for you to film your sex?
Boundaries.
A key aspect for me is mutual respect for each other. He said no, so that should be the end of the matter.
With how many posts I’ve seen about sex tapes that were shared with others or that were kept after a breakup and found by a future partner, I honestly don’t know why anyone would want to make a sex tape. I don’t blame him for saying no.
Do you know why he doesn’t want to?
If it’s privacy related and he’s worried about it being shared, maybe offer to film on something not connected to any sort of network and have him keep possession of it.
Could he be self-conscious about his appearance/performance? Lots of people get really weirded out after hearing a recording of their own voice. I’m sure everyone has some idea of how they think they look and sound while being intimate. Seeing it on video could be a really awkward experience if it doesn’t align with his mental image. Could sort of break the fantasy and hurt his confidence.
Like others said, I wouldn’t try to push it so hard.
My wife absolutely will not allow it.
There is no compromise.
So don’t. Respect what he doesn’t wanna do.
Respect your husbands wishes
OP it has nothing to do with your husband being conservative. He simply isn’t comfortable with it and you shouldn’t go for it unless he is cool as well. Asking him repeatedly will only yield the same outcome and damage your relationship even further.
Like another comment mentioned try reaching middle ground. Get a mirror that has a huge frame, so semi nude photography without your faces or whatever it is both of y’all will be comfortable with. Try and find out what makes you want to make these videos. Once you do find out the reason you can move on to something that works for both of you
Try thinking about why he’s saying no, do either of you have a high profile job such as an attorney or doctor and maybe something like this getting out could be career ending. Maybe he’s self conscious about his body such as his age and weight or penis size, do you have young kids that use your phone or computer that could accidentally stumble upon the videos? There’s probably a reason like these as to why he’s saying no try talking to him about why and respect his feelings towards it.
The problem is that these videos have a nasty way of becoming public. Phones getting hacked, people separating and putting these videos online as revenge, etc.
I saw someone make comment about using a mirror. I totally agree. Try that.
im the same way but my wife doesnt like being recorded
fortunately tho she indulges me and let’s me … it’s such a turn on for me.
Terrible, something about being on camera just does it for me. Like
Lucky husband
no is no. Respect that and dont push.
Maybe fuck in front of a mirror
Some people just don’t want to be on camera. There’s always the chance that it can get hacked/stolen, and maybe he doesn’t want either one of you in that position. I’ve had physical sex tapes disappear and I have no clue where they went to this day. Guess I can’t ever run for any high office lol.
My girlfriend would not dream of letting me film our exploits. There are many reason people to not want to have their sexual activities recorded. Some are self-conscious of their body, some worry about where the tape will end up, and who eventually will see it. Be patient, if you are lucky he’ll come around but if not enjoy the sex you are experiencing.
I agree with the other posters saying no means no and I’m happy to see you respecting his No by looking for a compromise.
Here’s another idea, what if you were to record yourself masturbating? That way you get to indulge in your kink and he isn’t a part of it until post production if he wants to watch. You could also do a boudoir photo shoot, again with just you then share the photos if he wants. I had a photographer friend who used to do boudoir shoots, some of them are quite classy.