Tl;dr: she said she’s not interested but continues communication. What should i do?
I’ve posted about this girl a few time in different subreddits, and hopefully this is that last one.
I told a girl that I’ve been friends with for about a year now that I have feelings for her. On that day, she brought up some things that made me feel like she was acknowledging that she knew I had feelings for her (ex: 1) she said we looked really cute and should take some pics together 2) when I brought up pictures from a photo booth we had taken previously, she said that her copy is taped in her journal and that it always opens up to that page and it’s reminds her of the great time we had that night 3) I was home that weekend for a party, and when that came up, she said something along the lines of “well, your not here just for the party”, which made me think that she thought I was home to see her and it wasn’t just a convenience thing (which is true, bc I was more so home to see her… the party was my way of justifying the trip) 4) she had bought up an Instagram pic I posted a month ago, and even though she had seen it when it was first posted, she said she recently went back to my profile and noticed that the caption was subtly about her (it was a pic from a museum trip we went on together, and the caption was an abbreviation of the museum, which is also her initials)). When I told her I had feelings for her at the end of the night, she essentials said that’s she doesn’t like me in that same way rn and that it takes a lot for her to see someone in that way (there’s a more detailed post about it on my profile).
Since then she had been talking to me as if nothing happened. We haven’t had super long text message conversations (mainly because I’ve been dry with my responses), but she still sends me stuff through Ig dm and reacts to and likes my stories. Any communications we’ve had since then has been initiated by her. How should I move forward in this situation? Should I continue communication as if nothing ever happened, or should I keep my distance? If the latter, should we have a conversation about that, or should I just ignore her/not put in much effort?
3 comments
She’s made it very clear that she doesnt want a romantic relationship with you yet values you as a person/friend. She’s trying to move on with things as normal to not make it awkward. However, if you dont want to be her friend or need some time to resolve your feelings for her, you should communicate that to her. Stop reading into everything trying to find the proof that she wants you. She doesnt. You need to let that go and move on as friends or not.
She’s not into you. If you want a friend, treat her as a friend. Start looking around somewhere else for a gf. Don’t try to make her jealous. Don’t look for signs of interest. Don’t play games. Moving on is the best way to reduce your anxiety over this.
She’s not interested in you romantically and it sounds like she’s been crystal clear about that. Don’t have another conversation about it. There’s no mystery here about why she’s still talking to you – she likes you *as a friend*.
If you are interested in *actually* being purely platonic friends with her, great. Just keep talking with her like you would with any friend.
If you only want her in your life if it’s romantic/sexual, then do both of you a favor and break off the friendship.