I’m fine with talking to older people, to kids, to people in position of authority or in position of serving, police or waiters, I’m good at that.
I feel very calm, confident and authentic talking to all sorts of people who are not my peers. By peers I mean two factors *together* – around my age and my position (like we’re both students and etc).
Communicating with peers doesn’t come naturally for me. Perhaps this is because there are certain rules to follow when it comes to talking to people different than you. But when it’s peers, there are no rules. Or maybe it’s my history of failing at making good friends at school, and social behaviour- I tried to pretend to be something I’m not, then realised how ridiculous it was. And now since I’m not pretending anymore, I’m empty.
So yeah. Anyone else with this problem? Any advice, or let’s commiserate
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I’ve joked with some coworkers that I’d rather give a speech in front of a whole stadium of strangers than give a speech to people I know personally or who I used to go to school with.
It’s really hard to break the habit of pretending to be someone you aren’t with peers especially. I suspect it’s because our brains perceived our peers as “dangerous” when our brains were developing. That could be a response to bullying, fear of social exclusion, or a myriad of other situations that led to self consciousness.
So now, as our older more mature selves, there’s a ton of unlearning for us to do.
I’m trying to channel authenticity in everything I do now, but I find I still second guess myself a lot. Even as I’m commenting on this post I felt a bit of stress! I reread/rewrote it a few times because I was worried about how I’d sound and be perceived.
Thank you for sharing this by the way! You aren’t alone in your struggle and I’m right there with ya 🌻