Bumble was created with the idea of breaking the tradition of the man initiating, right? So men, how has your experience been with the app? Have you found it to be better than apps where the girl doesn’t have to text first like Tinder?

47 comments

  1. girls idea of initiating a convo:

    “Hey”

    yea fuck off. I barely reply its too annoying lmao. I have at least had sex off of tinder and some decent convos on Hinge, not shit on bumble

  2. Hinge is better in my opinion. At least the people there make some sort of an attempt at conversation.

  3. Any app that bothers with matching is a waste of time imo

    (Except for Facebook dating, I’ve had good experiences with that)

    Why match when you can just dm every girl in your town whose online?

  4. It’s functionally identical to Tinder – right down to the same profiles with the same text.

    Girls punt 99.999999999999283% of the time and open with “hi”

  5. First step women take: “Heeey.”

    If you know how much you get instantly blocked or even shamed on other apps for not coming up with the perfect pickup line that warms her heart makes her tingly bits wet, this just shows that “equality and same treatment no matter the geneder” is just a giant joke.

  7. At least 50% of im first messages I got were “hey” so I felt the onus was still on me to start a conversation. I had a few fun dates from folks I met there.

    Buuut I met my now fiancée on hinge and that’s where I would recommend folks. Seemed women were more serious on there—I’m a male in my 30s who was looking for something serious.

  9. Lost my drive to meet girls in 2021, never had tinder or anything else, because i firmly believe you can just get garbage/stds on dating apps

  10. Didn’t Bumble stop being an app advertised for women making the first move ages ago? I might be wrong.

  11. When we match on bumble the first message is always just one word and they only do this to open it up for us to message them not so they can take any initiative

  12. Jumping in as I have no clue about dating apps (I’m married) but read the comments and, as a woman, if Bumble is supposed to be women initiating first and all you’re getting is ‘hey’, I’d be sooo not responding to that. That’s lazy and lame. However, it’s probably indicative of an imbalance in how many men versus women are on the app. If all you have to do is say hey and you get a bunch of responses, why would anyone try harder? I’m not saying it’s right, but if suddenly there were way more women than men on the app, pretty sure guys would enjoy the chance to sit back and say ‘hey’ 🙂 Again…still saying it’s not cool, everyone likes some effort to be spent.

  13. As a women, not sure if I get a say lol just bored on my train. But i did initiate with my boyfriend with “ Your cat is fat and fluffy, and I find him adorable”. More than a year later, we’re living together and traveling through states on vacation. I can agree, us girls can do better lol. But tbh that’s how most of us are raised, that men love the chase.

  14. I like the idea but they can drop the “They have 24 hours to send the first message or your match is expired”. Have had 20 some matches and only one message because of the 24 hour expiry date. People gotta sleep and work.

  15. Girls on any dating app: “Don’t be boring! Only looking for people who can hold a conversation. All ‘Hey’s will get blocked or ignored.”

    Girls “””””initiating””””” a conversation: “Hey”

    Girls “””””holding””””” a conversation: “Wow.” “Omg.” “Rly?” “Cool.”

    All it taught me was that a lot of women aren’t any better at being “exciting” or starting/maintaining conversations than we are.

  16. I was getting matches and the women would never message me. Not sure if it’s plagued with bots or women didn’t get the memo they’re supposed to message first.

    When bumble started giving you limited swipes per day i finally deleted it.

  17. I don’t get any more matches, but the matches do seem to be of higher quality. I felt like I was given much more of a chance from a bumble match than from tinder or hinge.

  18. Almost a year of using the app and have gotten two or three matches. Girls started talking by saying “Hello”.

    With one I got into a pretty nice conversation and we talked about some shared interests. Right up until the point she fully ghosted me

  19. All those dating apps are pretty dope as long as you know how to manage your expectations and be patient.

  20. Got a lot of matches on bumble and hinge. Went on plenty of dates and such but many have issues, baggage, or just want to fuck (there for a short time not a long time).

    Actually started a relationship with just one off hinge (we hit it off) for almost a year. She was still using the app as were dating so idk. Our relationship didn’t make the year mark and I ended things. Many say I’m a perfect guy, yet I’ve lost faith in these dating apps. It makes dating lean towards casual dating so I’ve deleted them months ago. Life is far more beautiful just living life and meeting people in person even if I’ve no intention to date for the time being. Single for a year and going strong while I focus on career, my degree, exercise, and complete balance in all aspects of life.

    Some still latch on by texting me every so often but I prefer being single after the experience with dating apps.

    P.S. I browse through the internet when I’m not busy sometimes (WFH), that or listen to Lectures/Podcasts. :p

  21. >So men, how has your experience been with the app?

    Every first message, bar one, that I’ve received was some variation of “hi”. I have no personal grievance with this, just musing at how many times I’ve seen profiles that tell guys to *not just say hi*.

    Most women that matched with me let the match expire. Probably more bots than actual women.

    Conversations were also pretty short. Only one led to exchanging numbers. Otherwise, ghosting was very common.

    Oh and I’m pretty sure a lot of profiles were straight copy-pastas from Tinder, seeing as so many were so adamant that they “don’t text first”.

    >Have you found it to be better than apps where the girl doesn’t have to text first like Tinder?

    Probably the worst in my experience (comparing to Hinge and Badoo). I’ve had longer conversations with, have gotten more numbers from and have gone on more dates with women from the other two apps.

    …

    EDIT: glad to know your count is still at 6, OP :p

  22. I’m off the apps for the time being. Last I was using bumble, the compliment system was implemented. Now I was the conversation starter and took that agency away from my potential matches and made the whole point of the bumble moot.

    After a 5 month period. 0 dates from bumble, 2 from hinge didnt tinder this time.

  23. Reading about how all the first messages are just “Hi”, I kinda wanna install that app now and respond to each of them just with “Hi” and nothing else and see what’s gonna happen.

  24. Tinder and bumble are both garbage.

    Im banned from both for telling off onlyfans thots who initiate a conversation only to try and get you to pay for their nudes..

  27. When I was on dating apps, Bumble was a strange beast.

    Some women will have copy pasted their profiles from other sites, down to saying “I don’t message first”.

    Several women use the automatic “ask a question” thing on there where they push a button that makes you both answer a question rather than send the first message.

    Lots of women would send just a “hey”.

    Conversely, the ones that didn’t do any of the above were generally a pleasure to speak with. One of them made me tacos. They were fucking good tacos too.

    What’s nice is once you have several potential matches, which are hidden of course, you can buy premium for just a week to see who’s in there and match with the ones you like. That’s pretty neat and takes the guesswork out. I refused to pay the stupid amounts other sites try to charge by forcing me to take a month, but 12$ or whatever it was for a week was fine. A week is more than enough time to sift through your potentials.

    I’d say it’s worth a shot.

    That said if your profile is garbage you won’t get far, just like any other app. If you have women friends, have them judge your profile. Don’t let them edit it or tell you what to write, but if they tell you something gives the wrong impression, listen to them.

  28. I’ve had introductions that go from “hi” i don’t bother to reply to them, to full on paragraphs! But most are a simple question or short intro.

  29. I used Bumble, Tinder, Match, and eHarmony. Bumble was my favorite in terms of quality of women I met. Tinder got me a kid. Getting drunk at a bar got me my wife.

  30. I do end up with about 50% more dates from bumble than from tinder as a man. Not sure how it works for women.

  31. In summary: There are built-in differences between women and men. An app won’t change that.

    At least with Bumble you know when a woman MIGHT be interested. In “the wild” us men rarely, if ever, know.

  32. I just deleted it the other day after using it for a few months. I was getting matches daily but out of all the women I matched with, I only went on a date with one and we still hook up occasionally. Additionally, half the time if a girl matched with me she wouldn’t even respond.

    Most of the girls seemed to never want to meet up. If I did set up something, then 9/10 times I would be flaked on.

    It’s a waste of time just like most of the apps.

  33. Most of my matches never initiate, while the ones that do are equally split between the “hey” or a something more substantial.

    As far as hooking up, I’d say both have about equal results. Not common, but they work.

  35. That app was not that great. I know it’s aimed at women to be in charge and I think that’s awesome. But I’d match with people but I’d get ghosted.

  36. My last ex and I met off Bumble, and probably the only reason why I asked her out on a date was due to her not starting the conversation out with “hey” or “hi.” In my experience, even if the girl has to initiate the conversation first, it’s still up to the guy to keep things going and interesting, as well as making plans for the first date.

    Usually for me girls I match with never even initiate and let the 24 hours expire.

  38. I had a lot of success on Bumble – it seemed to be the best app for me. I’m now in a relationship but it was fun prior to that. I used it while I was on a trip to see my friend one time and we had a layover. I started chatting up this woman and then I realized wtf was I doing – there was no way we could meet up or anything. It was fun though.

  40. I had much better success with Bumble then I had with Tinder.

    Part of that I think is demographic. Bumble seemed to have older (30’s-40’s), more professional, educated woman which probably fits what I’m looking for better.

  41. I’ll jump in.

    I think, generally speaking, Bumble is better for people who are searching for a more serious relationship. Most of the dates I’ve had with women were initiated through Bumble. I found that, at least 2/3 of the time, I was able to strike up a decent conversation and get a good feel for the personalities of the women whom I was speaking with.

    However, the conversations were always a mixed bag. Sometimes the conversations were generally interesting, and other times they were not. And I’d keep swiping.

    It also seemed like some of the women who I spoke with just wanted to “collect” matches, because they would not message me at all. Or, they just simply did not want to talk to me, which is fair enough. Similarly, sometimes the women would give me almost nothing to work with. For example, a conversation could go like this:

    Her: “hey!”Me: “hi there! how is your week going”Her: “good, you?”Me: “great, thanks. i’ve been doing a, b, and c. i can’t wait for this weekend because I’m doing this. what do you liked to do on your weekends?”Her: “maybe watch netflix haha”

    What the hell am I supposed to do with that? So, I’d just move on.

    Now, when I think about my experiences on Tinder, I think the majority of my interactions were like this, whereas a slim minority had some substance.

    Eventually, I abandoned Tinder and just stuck with Hinge and Bumble. There were just too many apps to keep track of, and I found that I was having more success on Bumble.

    It can work, but like anything, you get out of it what you put into it. It’s no different to going to a bar and striking up a conversation with a woman. They can either be receptive to your initiation, or not. Either way, shoot your shot.

    I will acknowledge that most men can experience more rejection on dating apps in one week than men in previous generations would in an entire lifetime (given the sheer quantity of swipes). It can be demoralizing when conversations don’t go your way, or worse, when you get a date with someone who you are hopeful about and she ghosts your later on. But honestly, my trick was I would just turn negative experiences into positive ones by trying to look for the humor in it.

    This attitude helped keep me going, and I am now engaged to a woman that I met on Bumble.

    EDIT: The best conversations were always with women who would read something in my bio and then ask me about it. So, as much as it is on women to initiate a good conversation, it’s also up to men to put something in their bio that is worth commenting on.

  42. I’ve found it to be the same as tinder………I’ve never gotten a match on tinder

  43. From my experience: about half match and don’t respond and the other half opens with a variation of “hey” or “hi.” Maybe it works for other people but I got bored and deleted it a long time ago lol

  44. >Bumble was created with the idea of breaking the tradition of the man initiating, right?

    Looks like most dating app are like this now.

  45. Most of the profiles i see, even if they are ‘verified’ they still state “I will not be the first to initiate a convo on here, you will have to do that”

    Well, thats pointless, wth are you here then???

  46. Generally my experience is you’re still fully expected to carry the conversation, ask them out and plan everything. I don’t really think it achieved its goal.

  47. honestly ive had more success on bumble instead of tinder mostly because bumble had real profiles 💀

    but yeah i like bumble because whenever someone actually puts in effort into their answer we usually get along well

    it also got me laid so 🤷‍♂️

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