I can be extremely chill and nonchalant when first talking to someone. But once I get feelings, I’m all in, I fall hard and fast. Logic goes out the window. Usually my feelings start before I can get the chance to see if they’re truly a good fit. But It makes me come off as clingy an anxious. It also makes me over think that they’re pulling away and I then hide my feelings and interest because I’m worried they’re not on the same page as me. Like I’m scared of coming on to strong and then being rejected. I feel like I shouldn’t have to hide my feelings with the right person..all of these dating psychology games of cat and mouse are stupid. I shouldn’t have to act uninterested for someone to want to “chase” me. But we as humans are biologically predisposed to be that way, it is our very nature. It makes me feel obligated to play the stupid games even though every piece of me doesn’t want to.
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……….. I also start to have doubts about their intentions and wether or not they’re seeing anyone else even though we’re just talking. Even if they say they’re not talking to anyone else, I don’t believe them. Saying it’s a relationship feels like a safety net. Like “oh if we’re dating they’re not going to cheat because that’d be wrong, but if we’re just talking they have no fundamental obligation to me to not see other people”. Once I start to care it becomes to real of a risk.
I don’t want to jump into my next relationship bc I know it’s not the healthy way, saying its a relationship doesn’t fix the insecurities. It’s hard to fight my feelings and use logic to take the time to see if they’re legit a good fit. I get caught up and just want to be all up around them. …Any advice on using logic for the win to check compatibility first without neglecting my own feelings? Idk how to balance the two.
1 comment
Hehe I have opposite