So due to my anxiety getting a hold of me. I thought I was interested in another girl, and I always had doubts of being with the right person. I’ve learned that these were anxious intrusive thoughts that were very compelling. Once I told her Of these thoughts the feeling disappeared and has not been back since. So I know it was intrusive thoughts that were not based in reality. I am now in therapy as of a couple weeks ago and feel like I’ve made progress already. We have been on a break for 2 months and in that time I have made my own progress as well and reevaluated what I want in my life and future. Skipping ahead, she broke up with me because she felt like she was “stringing me along” and felt it wasn’t fair and that I should heal and live my life. I have been putting a lot of effort into myself to be better for her and myself and I can’t help but continue feeling hopeful that we will work it out. She suffers from depression that she feels got worse during one relationship and is trying to figure herself out right now too which is another reason we are apart.
I guess I’m asking what to do. We have a university class together so I see her 1-2 times a week and lived with her and her family for 2 years so I miss her family too of course. I just don’t know how to continue. She texted me the next day a picture of her cat (who has grown so much since I’ve last seen him) but I left her on read because I don’t want to push her away by responding. I have a plan to talk to her more in-depth over what we discussed during our breakup talk and to try to hash some things out as I really froze during our initial talk and didn’t know how to act or what to say.
Tl;dr my anxiety got a hold of me and I thought I wasn’t compatible with my gf (21F) of 3 years to the point of talking about a girl I thought I was interested in.” (During our break I met up with her as friends and realized that there was no feelings there as expected). I am now In Therapy and have made good progress and I know that I want to be with her and that those unhealthy thoughts were anxiety provoked and intrusive. We have a university class together and she texted me the day after she broke up with me but I left her on read. I want to talk to her about everything again when I see her next. How should I proceed.
1 comment
First you need to get your head on straight. Did you break up w her because you felt the two of you weren’t compatible, and if so, what’s changed OR did you break up with her because you wanted to pursue something w the other girl?
Is it really her you want or is it that she’s familiar and being with her is better than being alone?
Once that mess is sorted and if you really want to be with her then ask her to talk and tell her how you feel. But know she might not feel the same way. She may feel like your second choice.