I have a couple of female friends that do this. They just get bombarded with notifications and get tired of it so they turn off the notifications from that app. That means when you send her a message there’s a good chance she’s not going to see that message until she actually remembers to open the application and check her messages.

Patience is vital.

43 comments

  1. Good post. Also assume women are on dating apps only for a limited time. So send a message early and don’t spend a lot of time beating around the bush

  2. I been wait 20 years ok thx I won’t wait any more 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  3. Honestly you could have no matches and still be bombarded by notifications from those apps. They’re relentless.

    Constant ads and passive aggressive messages of fake support just to try to get you to use the app more. It’s actually gross.

  5. Not really any guys problem.
    I think there’s much of patronizing with women’s shitty dating patterns.
    Any bullshit from their side is minimized, normalized or even “empowered”.

    Let’s start with mutual respect.
    We are all adults.
    We all have busy lives.

    It’s only our own responsibility to know how to manage our own time.

    Women have a lot of attention, matches and messages.
    Ok.
    So are men supposed to feel sorry for that?

    Here’s the thing.
    You, women, control your dating app.

    Have already a good number of matches?
    – Stop swiping and go talk and decide who to date (even if many at once if you prefer);
    – cleanup/unmatch the high number and stick with a reasonable number of matches that you want to talk to
    – don’t keep people on the shelf;
    – treat others like you like to be treated;
    – your time is not more valuable than the others. If you are on a dating app is because you have time for dating

  10. Or hear me out but the fact that woman are bombarded with hundreds of notifications from so many different guys probably means your chances at getting a date are practically 0 and you should delete all dating apps instead

  14. First, if your friends are not actively using a dating app for the purpose of finding someone to date, then they shouldn’t be using dating apps.

    Second, as a man, it’s not my responsibility to wait for a woman to check her messages from me, while she has the expectation of me to wait for her. It’s actually disrespectful that women think a man should just be patient and wait for her, as if he doesn’t have anything better to do.

  16. I just assume it’s like applying to any job posted on a job board. If it’s been up for more then 24hrs, it probably already has a ton of applications so my chances at being seen is slim to none

  17. I keep notifications off for all my apps unless I’m expecting an Uber/Lyft or food delivery.

  18. I legit get over 100 notifications a day as a woman, and I’m 42…. can confirm this patience is a virtue idea.

  20. If that’s the case, I never wanna hear “dating apps suck for both sexes” ever again lmao

  21. This is what Bumble is supposed to fix, but I’ve run into tons of people who match, but never send a first message. They need to give girls the incentive to not swipe right on everyone and be more selective with their matches.

  23. I heard some guys consider a girl simply not responding to the very first message a guy sends is considered ‘ghosting’.

    I would be spending hours replying to each message. And then because the message would be that I’m not interested, it would only make the situation worse and make men resent women on dating apps more.

    I swear, sometimes it makes me feel like a jerk. I don’t want to hurt a guys’ feelings, but at the same time am I obliged to respond to every message out or courtesy?

    *Dear guys: please say something more than ‘hi’ or ‘you’re so beautiful what’s your favorite food, color, movie and music? Can I see more pictures?’

    The most attention grabbing messages refer to me like a fellow human being. Like wow, they mentioned something I wrote from my profile for instance.

  26. I mean this literally, it would be a full time job to thoughtfully and consistently respond to every msg on a dating app the way I do when having an actual texting convo with a friend.

    I also don’t think I am in the top 50% of women getting msgs on apps.

    When it gets too overwhelming trying to communicate with people I just stay off the apps for several weeks completely. If a convo hasn’t moved to a msging app then it is probably dead since the next time you login youll have a hundred more msgs to read through.

  28. Dating apps should ALL have an indicator showing when the person last used the app. I know of many women who:

    1. Deleted the app, but not their account (they didn’t know that one didn’t accomplish the other)
    2. Have their account active, but haven’t checked it in weeks or months

    You should be able to limit your search to people who have logged in within the last 14 days or something. It’s dumb that you have to swipe through endless profiles when half of them are probably not even looking at all.

  31. Anyone who doesn’t turn those notifications off is a weirdo if you ask me. Only thing my phone is going to tell me is if someone is calling me or texting me directly. Apps and websites are for when I want to visit them and aren’t going to just steal my attention.

  32. I agree with you wholeheartedly, but with these apps most guys are not waiting around for a girl to respond, they just move on to their next match. I don’t blame them, time is a precious resource that we don’t have enough of. What I don’t understand is the guys who bombard a girl that hasn’t responded with messages and insults for not responding. Just move on and if you do get a response from them you can have a conversation, if you already found someone else, great their loss.

  35. That’s why you give your digits ASAP. After you get a few responses, immediately follow up with “If you wanna chat more you can reach me at 555-555-5555” etc

  36. I mean, everyone has 3 days to respond. After that, I’m unmatching and moving on. Whatever your problem is, is of no consequence to me. If OLD is so bad for you, you shouldn’t be on it.

  39. I’m a man who is not inundated with messages, and i turn my notifications off too. I don’t want to think about dating app conversations until the time I’ve set aside to do so. Otherwise I’m living my life.

  40. can confirm. its overwhelming af and i end up deleting the apps after a couple of days because of it. 😮‍💨

  43. Yeah I assume that from how they don’t even respond or respond but then start getting dry after a day. Or maybe they just are talking to 100 different guys a day idk but it’s annoying when they say they’re looking for something serious yet don’t reciprocate the same effort or energy

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