Will I ever be able to communicate normally?

Ps. Sorry if I don’t come across clearly. I have struggle explaining stuff. Also…I’m a dude.

I spend a lot of my time reading posts about how to improve my social life and I try the advice but I always end up failing even when I know what to do. I’ve heard from many different people that I’m attractive and the amount of chances I get with girls has led me to stop doubting this. I however, always mess up when presented with the opportunity to date/ get familiar with them being I’m always consumed by my own thoughts.

I don’t know if this is weird but I whenever I am presented with an opportunity to date/ get close to a girl, I always feel extreme self doubt and don’t feel I’m good enough for them. I think it’s mainly due to my limited trust in my social skill and other factors I can’t control atm. I could be completely sure they like me but I’m afraid to approach them/talk to them. The thing is…I seek validation from others despite their gender and idk why. I also tend to overthink people’s actions and misread their intent.

I have like two close friends who I’m open with (we rarely go out like once a month) but even then, I sometimes question if they are actually like they say or are just pretending. Ik they’re not but I can’t help feeling this way. I’ve been told that I’m fun to talk to by random people online over text but idt that’d be the case irl because I’m more reserved. When I do try and social I feel like maybe I’m talking too much, rambling or maybe coming off as fake. I struggle to be myself around strangers because I feel my personality might be too intense for them or weird them out. I just sit and analyse everyone around me to try and find out what they are thinking or while talking to them.

Met this girl online in my class and we texted a bit in the document we were on till midnight and had a few chats after. We have a bit in common (it was kinda crazy tbh) and I joined the same club as her too. She was really looking forward to meeting me irl but due to circumstances I missed out like two weeks of meetings (classes are online). We haven’t talked in like two weeks and I’m scared she already found others to talk to and lost interest. Or maybe she won’t find me as interesting irl and not talk to me (happened before I think). I want to know how to be myself without coming off as weird. Like I am with my bros.