My girlfriend (24F) and I (21M) have been together for 6 months. Our relationship moved very quickly from the start as we fell in love really deeply, early. We were together from the first night we met and started seeing eachother almost every day soon after that. After a month we were official and after two months i was practically living at her house.
After 3 months her lease at her old place had ended and i suggested we move in to a new place together. It seemed like an amazing idea at the start as we were pretty much together all the time anyway so we thought why not.
I’ve lived with my family my entire life and my girlfriend has lived with other people her entire
life and moving out on her own is something shes always wanted to do. It was a bit of a compromise for her to move in with me as this got in the way of her achieving that goal but she did it anyway cause it felt right to make that step together.
We’ve been together for half a year now and living together has been mostly great. We share chores and work together to keep the house running however resentment from her side has built up as she no longer feels she is as free as she was to be independent and have her own space and time to herself. She feels smothered by me in a sense.
She is a very independent person and has been in alot more relationships than i have. She understands people need their own time to be individuals in a relationship to maintain happiness. This is my first proper relationship and i have been struggling to give her enough space or time cause my instinct when i have free time is to spend it with her.
We both love each other very much still but we find ourselves arguing over small issues and feel unheard by the one another. Could this be something that stems from her feeling smothered?
I’m reaching out cause i want to know other people’s experiences.
– Is it a bad sign that this is happening so early on?
– Did we move too fast and do you think we’ll last?
– How can we give each other the space we need without living separately?
TL;DR: I think i am smothering my girlfriend. She wants space and i need help on how to give it to her
2 comments
Yeah, this is why it’s not a great idea to move in so early in a relationship. You moved in together while still on your honeymoon phase and now have to negotiate a lot of new relationship territory all at once. Not good. How many bedrooms do you have?
Start scheduling large blocks of time away from the house that she knows about in advance. You can also do things near each other separately, which might help too, like reading and watching tv in the same room.
This is just going to be hard on the relationship—you set yourselves up to have to deal with a lot in a condensed time frame. Make sure you are actually splitting household tasks evenly and are in the level of cleanliness you want and how often things need to be done.
There is also nothing wrong with you moving out And slowing things back down.
you need to get yourself a hobby or activity you can do to get you out of the house so she has some free time to herself to do whatever she wants to do. play a sport, join a league, go on hikes or bike rides …… something.