So I’m looking for some advice on this situation. I (30M) asked a former coworker (26F) out through messenger. She had only worked at my current employer as a new hire for a few weeks before she ended up leaving somewhere else. I was never able to get her number in person cause she left so quickly, that’s why I ended up messaging her through Facebook.
Here is how our conversation went:
Me: Hey would you like to grab dinner sometime? Let me know – (My phone #)
Her: um hi! As in asking me out?
Me: hello 👋, yes!
Her: id would love too, but I sort of thought you were in a relationship?
Me: What would make you think that?
Her: I just assumed since you’re very good looking and have a steady job 😅😅
Me: Welp, I’m as single as a dollar bill and I would like to hangout with you sometime, are you free this weekend?
Her: yes I am and would too!
I let her know I was going to sleep and she had sent another message but unsent it before I got to read it the next morning, and then blocked me.
Did I do something wrong, was I too straight forward? Just looking for some advice, thank you in advance.
34 comments
You’re never going to see her again. Keep walk on. She complimented you. Go and find someone else to fuck.
My best advice is to believe the evidence in front of you when trying to figure out someone else’s behavior.
All of the evidence here points to a respectful, welcomed conversation.
Conclusion? She acted for reasons that have nothing to do with you.
Don’t overthink things, and don’t automatically assume you did something wrong unless there is evidence to suggest that you did. And I truly mean evidence – not a feeling, or intuition, or sense – actual evidence, like something she said or did.
Yup, no clue why she did this, but it doesn’t matter.
I would refrain from things like “single as a dollar bill”, but other than that, you did fine.
The only thing noteworthy is that your looks are on a level (from her point of view) where she commented on it the way she did. So we can speculate that she might have backed out because she perceives you to be “too goodlooking” for her, but man, who knows. Take the compliment, accept that sometimes you won’t know exactly what a person was thinking, and move on.
I would block someone too if they used the word welp
seems like she changed her mind and then let you know in a very immature way. Or she just agreed to see where the conversation was going to go next.
I don’t think you did anything wrong. Definitely think this is on her.
As long as you did and said everything according to your value system you are good to go. And it sounds like you did. This is on her not you. Some things just don’t make sense at the time, but eventually they will.
You did nothing wrong here buddy, if anything her not being an adult and not communicating she can’t meet or whatever, kinda says a lot about her as a person.
You win some you lose some🤷🏽♂️ move on don’t overthink it or let it get you down
My advice is there is something going on in her life that you don’t know about. She thought maybe she could let you take her out but realized it was not only a bad idea but that she didn’t want “anyone ” to find out she said yes. This was actually an easy one.
Not a missed connection just means you have to look for the next one and use a better laughing line than single dollar bill. I personally liked it but others may not.
You did everything right master, nothing to worry about
Conversation looked completely fine. Def some issue on her end that was out of your control. Don’t sweat it.
My completely uneducated guess at what happened here:
She, for some reason, believed you weren’t single. Wherever she got that info, she rechecked the source and it confirmed it. Hence the blocking.
Alternatively, there was a reason she left the job. She might not want to take a step back towards that environment by pursuing a relationship with you.
Regardless – leave her be and move on.
My feedback: it’s good to be straightforward, but it doesn’t hurt to break the ice. “Hey, I was just thinking about you and wondering how your new job is going? I really enjoyed working with you and I’m sad we didn’t get to work together more” – something like this to open? Shows you’re thinking about her and considerate while not cutting right to it.
I think a lot of men rush in with the question and forget that the answer is dependant on what happens before. If you prove that you can hold a good conversation for a few minutes and then pop the date question a woman will be far more likely to say yes and go through with it. Not only do you prove you can actually hold a conversation at dinner, but it gives her time to feel safe in your company and decide how she feels about you. If all there is is a “would you like to get dinner sometime?” Then there’s not much to go off there. We might say yes in the moment to save face but will be far more likely to cancel as we don’t know you and you haven’t put in much effort to know us.
yea don’t take it personal. she probably in her healing phase.
It sounds like maybe she has an issue with avoiding her own growth. Seemed like she even liked the idea of dating you before you even asked, but she backed out when it started to become true. So maybe she has low courage.
Or actually does have a boyfriend and found herself about to cheat.
Or many other reasons that have to do with her.
She prob has a boyfriend or an ex that saw y’all messaging and made her block you.
That’s only if the conversation actually went like that tho lol
I don’t think this has anything to do with you. She probably has a boyfriend who found the chat.
Trust me my friend you did nothing wrong. Honestly I thought the dollar bill joke was cheesy and funny as I actually did laugh at it and (while I’m not a girl) girls love humor even if it’s cheesy. You also came off assertive yet cool and collected while being respectful too.
All of these show a confident and good guy.
So her reason to block is truly baffling and sometimes people are just odd like that. Don’t let it discourage you because you’re approach came off great and I couldn’t recommend better if I’m being real with you. Trust me you’ll find a good woman my friend. Keep up your attitude. Remain humble, funny, respectful and of course be natural
Were you friends with her before or did you randomly message her? If it was a random message, she probably got weirded out.
Don’t overthink it. Some people are just built that way.
She gave you an explanation to why she can’t come and then she chose to delete that reason and block you instead. Probably out of embarassment.
This has absolutely nothing to do with you and absolutely everything with her.
I know it sucks, but that’s how it is. Her behaviour is also a red flag, that should be avoided in a relationship. The ability to talk about problems, especially when it’s hard is really essential.
Life is very dynamic, there are 100 other reasons why a girl will not go out on a date with you apart from the fact that she doesn’t like you. The fact that she initially agreed proves that she likes you, but blocking you later was a consequence of some external factor that is definitely not in your control. You should try meeting more women because there’s no shortage!
her child blocked you dawg.
To be honest, it’s very hard to tell what was going on in her mind, especially since we do not know the relationship of you two, and what happened before. But could it be that she was simply looking for validation (by getting a date first, but then saying no to it) – what’s your outlook on that, you can analyse the situation better.
Also please DON’T disqualify yourself that much in the future by saying something like “Welp, I’m as single as a dollar bill and I would like to hangout with you sometime, are you free this weekend?” I personally find it funny, but better to go for this kind of lines when you are either have a lot of status or are famous lol
shes not it
Everyone has me overthinking this
They do funny shit don’t they? But guess what so do guys. Just what it is. The thing is you probably did that and barely noticed.
Kinda creepy tracking her down on FB. If that was what bothered her she should have blocked you right away.
But since she did not, then I would just assume she had her reasons that had nothing to do with you and could not handle telling you. Women have a very reasonable fear of confrontation and saying no. It gets us literally killed.
Sounds like she was up to no good.
find another girl and maybe when she hasn’t been piped in a while she’ll come back calling.
I would guess although she said yes on the spot, when she had a chance to think about it more deeply she changed her mind. She probably explained that in the unsent message but thought whatever it was didn’t sound good, so just blocked you instead because that sends a clear message.
Sounds like she changed her mind about going on the date, panicked and instead of telling you like an adult she blocked you
If i had to guess the answer is the end there, she sent a message then unsent it and blocked, you went to sleep and didnt see the message she noticed this and maybe viewed it as a lack of interest since you didnt try to keep talking longer.
If thats the case she would be a very immature person and not worth the trouble, regardless after a conversation like this to block with no explanation is pretty weird and also immature, you mighta dodged a bullet here.
This happened with me recently as well.
I went out 3 times with a guy I’ve been talking to since 2 months, we were discussing about going out again and suddenly he seenzoned and stopped messaging. And although he gives compliments and seems interested, he has done this 2 times before while conversing resulting in me reviving the convo. His texts goes upto 15-16 and it doesn’t get dry, but he just ghosts all of a sudden. I don’t get why.
To me, someone messaging out of the blue asking for a date would be odd. Next time, maybe start with reminding them how you two met, apologize if this was out of the blue, but you didn’t have their number and wanted to try getting to know each other better as an opener?
Blocking was super immature, but you can’t assume to know their motives. I would just let her have the space she asked for.