M (25). I’m a fat guy. I believe I have a good personality. I’m a positive guy. I honestly admit I’m ugly. I have acne over my face, I’m balding and I’m overweight. I’m not a depressed fucker and I’m not an introvert. I have friends. Multiple groups to be honest. But when it comes to relationships, no one takes me seriously . Maybe because I’m fat, I wanted to fit in I made myself look like a funny guy. I like being funny as I’m witty and I am good at sarcasm. But somehow it never helped in my love life. I’ve been in relationships, it was like for 5-10 days. My gf judged me for being too good. She was not able to believe that someone is so good. I had chivalry, I gave her all the time she needed. I never lied to her. I was there whenever she needed help. I did this because it is not easy for me to get girls. First they have to know me, to get involved with me. Because of my looks no one tries to engage with me in the first place. (She left me for a guy who literally tortures her mentally but is good looking and has good body. I have nothing against her or her current boyfriend )
Other than that, I proposed my best friend of childhood, she formally denied saying she wants just friendship she never looked at me that way. I have indicated her 1000s of time but again I’m not taken seriously. My friendship with her has also taken a hit after that. I’m just lonely in terms of relationships as like it is good to have someone share your daily things and feel important to someone. How do I get that. I’m here ready to make 100% of my efforts if I fall in love with someone. But in the end I’m here, sitting alone at 3 am, writing this reddit post. All the ladies and gents please guide me, what I need to do or need to change to be more meaningful.
8 comments
>what I need to do or need to change to be more meaningful.
Couch to 5k. Or the lazy version which is intervals on the treadmill. If you don’t have access to a treadmill, try a fitness workout like Tae Bo or hip hop abs.
Meal planning/prepping.
“Perfect pushup” on Amazon for 20$
Sales at Bath&body works.
Clothes shopping every 3 months.
My situation is perhaps not as extreme as yours. I consider myself moderately good-looking for my age (46M) but accept I’m no Adonis. Lately I’ve been walking about 12,000 steps a day, and watching my caloric intake. I’m down about 30 pounds from my peak weight. I want to lose about 35 more.
I’ve had people (both men and women) comment that they’ve noticed my weight loss. I think I’m a pretty good conversationalist, and have a sense of humor.
I’m not super-active socially, but objectively I do think I’m more attractive than I’ve been in a long time.
If you are interested in losing weight, I would encourage you to keep an eye on portion sizes, physical activity, sugar/carb intake, and overly processed foods. Maybe find a walking or hiking group in your area.
Seems like your confidence is OK, but I think you should try to develop a more positive self-image. Looks are subjective. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
> acne over my face, I’m balding and I’m overweight.
Just wait until you’re 40, my dude. Then you’ll fit right in with everyone else that’s fat and balding. Otherwise, go do something about it. See a dermo about treatment for your acne. There’s minoxidil or medication for hair loss, or plugs. As for overweight, diet and exercise.
You said you wanted to fit in, so you made yourself a funny guy. I’m assuming because you are insecure about your weight, your jokes are probably centred around self-deprecating humour.
No woman wants to be with a man who purposely takes shots to themselves around their peers, to make them laugh. Women want men who are confident in who they are, and demand respect from their peers.
If you are overweight and feel ugly, and don’t want to try to improve yourself – own it. Change your jokes to be directed to other things but yourself, think of yourself as higher value. Little confident boost changes will attract a woman, and make you feel good about yourself at the end of the day.
Look up dating coach David X on YouTube, then watch his videos. He was proof that confidence trumps looks because before he settled down and had a family he was intimate with 500 women. David was not a good looking guy.
Shave your head, start treating your acne and cut bread, pasta and sugarfilled carbonated drinks from your diet.
The headaches will be hell for 2-3 weeks after a week or two, but it’s worth it. Once that cleanse is over focus your meals around meat salad and fatbased sauces.
After about a month you will notice how it’s easier to walk, breathe, sleep and your digestion will be better than ever.
Start taking a walk a day while listening to a podcast episode. 20-30 minutes is enough.
If you haven’t dropped at least 60 pounds in a year without any further training NSA will put you in a lab in Area 51.
^ I did it being around 340 pounds at 6f9. That was about 7 yeara ago. I dropped over 100 pounds in a year and felt comfy enough to start hitting the gym.
Today I have a healthy lifestyle without passing anything up with the exception I’ve opted to stop drinking alcohol.
Sounds like you know exactly what you need to do, just don’t want to take the nessesary steps to do it.
Are you attracted to overweight women? Many women do not want a guy smaller than themselves, so may even prefer a bigger guy.