A couple of months ago I matched with a cute girl and we hit it off. She was enthusiastic in her responses and responded fairly quickly. For the first time since my last relationship I felt like she was actually genuinely interested in me. We chat for a bit and I find out she’s going away on a holiday in two weeks. Annoyingly I get struck down with covid for a week and then she was pretty much left on her holiday so we didn’t get a chance to go on a date before she left.
We kept in contact while she was away (she was gone for about a month) and when she gets back I ask her on a date and she said yes. So we have our date and it goes well. We continue talking and organise a second one a week later. Again it goes well and we have a good time. We continue talking for another week then she goes quiet on me. I send her a message asking if she wanted to go on another date as we had a long weekend coming up thanks to a couple of public holidays. She replies saying that her life has been super hectic with different things (she’s having some trouble with a club she runs and was looking to move house, both things she mentioned on our first date so this wasn’t super out of the blue). She’d managed to find a new house and was busy with her move so forgotten to mention it to me which is understandable cause it’s a pretty stressful time. She said that she wasn’t quite feeling herself because of the stress but was keen to catch up soon. I messaged again a week later to see how she was doing and my message wasn’t even opened after like 5 days. I gave it one last shot and asked if she was happy to have another date on a particular day. She said was busy that day and when I responded with alternatives I was just left on seen. That was about 3 weeks ago and I haven’t heard anything from her since.
It just really hurt seeing someone go from enthuastic about talking to you and going on dates with you to just nothing at all. I know the troubles with her club are pretty stressful for her and maybe that’s why she’s taken a step back but idk. I just feel like I did something wrong considering it felt like it was going perfectly. I guess I just wish she’d have been upfront with me rather than just not responding. Thanks for letting me rant, been good to get it off my chest.
TL;DR: Matched with a girl on tinder, she seemed super interested. Got covid and she went on holiday but eventually we went on a date. It went well and so did the second date. Tried to organise a third and got left on seen.
10 comments
So sorry this happened to you; you did everything you could to make things work, but she wasn’t interested. I ghost/block only rude or very navalent people who don’t take my “no” seriously so I despise what she did. You sound like nice person so don’t give up, there are other girls who would appreciate your approach and (hopefully) would return your feelings (and even if they wouldn’t be interested would be fair and open to say so)
She is seeing other people. Just cut your loss and move on. Life is too short to wait around for anyone that plays these types of games. Good luck bro
I had a similar experience like you did. I went on some dates with a guy who had many things in common and we texted very often. He was away for work for a month, and after that, we went on a date again, it was great. He started texting less and said he was busy because of his job. Then he blocked me and ghosted. I know it sucks to be in that position. I hope you will feel better.
The dating Gurus call this GHOSTING!!!!
Ask to help with move
I feel you. It also happened to me. It really feels bad
You likely didn’t do anything wrong, this is just unfortunately how women end things most of the time.
It’s pointless to try to speculate what happened; there *is* a reason, but there’s no way you can possibly know what that reason is. Maybe she got scared because she saw it was getting more serious and didn’t want to be tied down. Maybe she met another guy who has a more exciting lifestyle. Maybe her ex called her and she’s still in love with him. Maybe she doesn’t like your eyebrows and thought your personality could make up for it but she decided it didn’t.
There are an infinite number of reasons why she could have stopped responding, some of them have to do with you, some of them don’t, you’ll never know the real reason though, even if you ask her and she tells you the truth, because most people won’t.
My advice is that if someone steps back, you do too. If you invite a girl out for a date and she takes 5 days to get back to you, even if she says yes, make other plans, because it’s almost guaranteed she’ll text you an hour beforehand saying she can’t make it, or she just plain won’t show up. If she cancels plans without offering an alternative, completely forget about her. Get rid of her number, she no longer exists. Any more time spent thinking about her is wasted effort.
In my experience, you *can* get girls like this to go out with you again, but they’ll be doing it out of a sense of obligation, the date will be forced, and it will eventually peter out anyway. Everyone deserves someone that’s excited to be with them, feeling like you’re with someone who is dating you because they feel like they have to just isn’t worth it.
Too much pressure too soon. She said she wasn’t feeling herself, she was stressed out and moving needs a crap tons of hands and she wasn’t interested in dating during this time.
She probably ran into a million issues like I did when I moved into my house. Then the unpacking and work and issues and cleaning and shopping.
Most people take MONTHS after moving into a new place before they feel normal again, but you kept pushing it. Offer to listen to her if she needs to talk. Don’t push for dates when they say they are tired or have a ton of stress going on.
She wasn’t interested sorry to say. The “life is hectic” excuses are textbook. What she really means to say is “I’m just not interested in you anymore and am going to let you down lightly”.
Hard to say what you did wrong and I completely understand your frustration. Maybe you said something over text or on a date, maybe you didn’t make a move, maybe you misjudged her level of interest. All the best moving forward
Been on dating apps for 4 months had one person match talked for a week..I had covid so couldn’t do much. When I got better u suggested a date n meet up.. than was ghosted.. never responded again. At least your having some luck!