I was able to make friends during my school years, but our friendship would only last a school year, until we didn’t share the same class, or until we graduated. Same thing happens through social media and texting. We’d be texting and sending memes and videos to each other through Instagram, and then it’d just stop. It wouldn’t even be because we had drama or we’ve hurt the other person’s feelings, we’d just stop taking the time to talk to one another. It could be months since our last conversation, but It’s not like we ended on bad blood. I’ve managed to keep two life long friends that I talk to at least once everyday. I am a shy and reserved person, and I often don’t talk to people throughout the day. How can I improve in this area? I do want to keep a long-term relationship with the freinds I make, they’re often good company to me. Would it be worth it to reconnect with some old friends?
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> How can I improve in this area? I do want to keep a long-term relationship with the freinds I make, they’re often good company to me. Would it be worth it to reconnect with some old friends?
2 friends is actually pretty good.
Yes, of course it would be worth a shot, but if I were you I would start connecting with everyone and make new friends as well. You can improve by doing it. What I mean is, with each conversation with a new person your social skills improve, albeit maybe only a little bit at a time.
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Gamechanger for me was to remember things about people. Simplest thing
is the birthday. You can write them on their birthay but also ask things
like “Your birthday is in the summer, right? What did you do on your
birthay parties?”. If you can give somebody the feeling that you are
really interested in them it helps so much to make friends. Maybe the
name of their siblings or friends? I use this app, which allows you to
save birthdays, notes and “connected” persons. Also a great way to
remember names of people you don’t see that often. https://apps.apple.com/us/app/friends-app-remember-names/id1593912832 Mabye try it if you have an iPhone
You have to understand that people subconsciously attach you to the value you bring. Ask yourself why should people should have a strong bond with you. It cannot be because you are lonely. Are you a good conversationalist ? Are you fun and interesting to be around ? Do you bring positive vibes and positive social energy ? Are you directly impacting or adding to other people’s lives ? People look at these things in deciding to form a deeper connection with you.
You say you are reserved and shy. People pick up on the fact you are not confident enough speaking and expressing yourself by definition, and that’s preventing you from coming off as a fun, interesting, or positive person people want to talk to. You need to consistently practice listening and speaking to people in a confident manner.