I said hi to this girl that I’ve been interested in and attracted to, but I’m not sure if I would be bothering her if I made an attempt to talk to her? So their is a girl at work that I’ve been curious about, I think shes pretty attractive so shes always kinda gotten my attention. Only thing is we aren’t friends, and we’ve never spoken or anything.
We used to be in the same department but she went to another one, but I’d still see her in passing every now and then. I do know that her new position involves her driving trucks out of state so I don’t run across her too often. I know some people say you shouldn’t try to date coworkers, but like I said I don’t run across her often and if I do it’s pretty brief plus this isn’t really a professional environment. I’m 200% set on trying at the least but just wanted to know the best way to go about it.
Our previous job was driving trailers around the yard so we never worked up close before, I never felt like I had the chance to try to talk to her back then because we were always moving around in this big yard. Anytime I’ve passed her I’d avoid eye contact with her to not be weird, but I said to myself if I pass her again I’m going say hey or something. It’s been awhile but today i unexpectedly passed her while I was heading to the vending machine. I happen to see her walking down the stairs next to me, and she was texting or something on her phone, so I said hey and she looked up at me and then I slightly waved again and she looked at me and said hey in a low, quiet voice. I noticed a few minutes before that I heard a supervisor say hi to her and she smiled and waved, so I don’t know if I made her uncomfortable saying hey or not.
She didn’t smile but didn’t look weirded out or confused or bothered or anything but I don’t know what she was thinking of course. I don’t think I smiled either I hope I didn’t look serious or anything or come off creepy, but I was caught off guard and I didn’t know how she would respond, I was kinda expecting to be ignored or for her to respond dismissively. Overall she sounded warm and pleasant, but I dont know.
I didn’t get a bad vibe after I greeted her or anything I can’t remember after that if she looked away first or if I turned away and kept walking I it’s all blurry now. I think she was headed home, I know I definitely had to start work, so I didn’t feel it was the time to see if a conversation could come of it.
So what I want to know is, if I happen to run across her again. I was thinking I’ll try to start a short conversation, I’m dead set on making an effort, but say if the conversation goes well, how soon is too soon when asking for the number, or if I should just offer to give her my number so it’ll take the pressure off?
Only reason is because, like I said we dont run across each other often because she’s on the road most of the time, so was thinking maybe we could get to know each other outside of work or maybe I’ll ask if she wants to hang out or just something simple like cheesecake or something, I’m not sure if she’s even single but if she’s not I don’t want to much time to pass, not like I see her everyday. How soon is too soon? Should I wait to build my rapport before asking or no?
I’m inexperienced but I’m willing to give it a go. Thanks
1 comment
You should not shit where y…
>I’m 200% set on trying
>
>I’m dead set on making an effort
…well. Fuck it, then.
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Next time you see her, get a conversation going. See if there’s anything there socially, or if it’s just basic professional politeness.
Can you tell a joke and get a laugh in response? Does she follow along with what you are saying, and ask questions? Does she volunteer any stories or perspectives of her own, without your prodding, that keep the conversation going? Does she seem eager and willing to continue the conversation? Or do you get the impression that she’d rather end it so she can get on with whatever else?
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If she responds positively in these ways, I’d ask her out socially. *”Would you like to go to/get an ‘xxxx’ sometime?”* If she doesn’t, then stop right there.
If you have a feeling she’d be down for cheesecake, then why the fuck not? Go for cheesecake. If she says *”Yes,”* then ask for her contact info and tell her you’ll get back to her later to set it up. Then do that.
I don’t know that I’d go straight for my usual “*ask them out on an unambiguously romantic date,”* advice, because this is your workplace. As such, you’re trotting right up to the sexual harassment line as it is. Get her out socially, as friends. Don’t assume that this “date” is anything more than a platonic meetup between coworkers, to shoot the shit after quittin’ time. If things go well on *that* “date,” ask her out for a *real* one at the end of it.
*”Hey, this was a lot of fun. It was great getting to know you outside of work. If you’re up for it I’d like to take you out again, but on a date this time, how’s Thursday evening sound?”*
Use your own words, obviously. But make it clear that the *next* date is a *romantic* date. She’ll respond how she’ll respond, and you go from there.
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Once again, strongly advise you not do the thing you’re going to do. There’s a whole lot of *very good* reasons people are told not to fuck around in their workplace.
Regardless, hope it works out for you.