I’ll come out and say my social skills are terrible. I don’t know how to make friends, let alone date. I can barely hold a conversation. I’ve basically talked to no one since starting college and my new job, it just doesn’t come naturally to me and I don’t really speak unless spoken to.
The other day at work we were really really slow. My co-worker (who up to that point I honestly thought was a bit of a dick and didn’t like me tbh) actually tried to make conversation with me. At first it was really, really hard to keep it going. But at some point the conversation clicked a little bit though it was still pretty awkward.
I felt okay during the conversation, but afterwards I just felt terrible for some reason and I still do. I’m not sure why. I think part of it is that I opened up about myself and my interests to a stranger for once, something I’m not really comfortable doing. And afterwards it was like I was hit with, idk, post-anxiety? Like thinking about that conversation puts almost a pit in my stomach and I don’t want to do it again.
2 comments
No clue what that specifically is, but if it keeps happening if you have more interactions with people, then it’s time to ask a professional. It does not seem normal, no.
I was the same way in college; be kind to yourself. If you find it hard to confide in or trust others, there are always valid reasons for it in your past. You might want to look into therapy to help you identify, process, and accept those prior experiences so they present fewer obstacles for you going forward.
As for the immediate situation, it sounds like you had a vulnerability hangover… it happens when you haven’t shared things about yourself with others in a while. Try to feel proud of yourself for having seized the chance to put yourself out there! It shows healthy, normal hope of making connection with another person. Instead of dwelling on worrying about the outcomes, try to observe what you learned from the experience and savor the new things you know about your co-worker. No matter the outcome, taking the risk was a great step!