I suppose I’m looking for insight and advice, from both guys and girls. I’m (25f) seeing a new guy (29), he is super active, fit, healthy. We are really attracted to eachother. I’ve been with other guys so I can safely say I can tell when a guy is fully erect. He doesn’t seem to get there, ever. We sometimes can have sex but only in positions that suit him , never me on top etc.
We’ve only met up a handful of times and he’s fantastic outside of this. I tried to bring it up the first time because I was in shock as I’d never experienced it. He sort of said “oh maybe was too eager to impress”, but we’ve had sex a few times since and no improvement. He never mentions it at all, which I wish he did he sort of pretends it doesn’t exist but I’m left laying there like wtf?
Even when I give bj etc he’s never fully erect, still cums but it’s just an issue for PIV of course.
I really like him so don’t want to hurt his feelings etc, does anyone have idk any knowledge or experience they can share, on how to help this?
4 comments
Following this because I as a guy am experiencing the same and not sure why.
I have theories for myself, diet, exercise, and sleep hygiene, and mental health stuff.
How new is this relationship?
From my personal experience with a new girl, i was nervous as fuck. Especially since i didn’t have sex for a *long* time before her. My anxiety and nerves were getting the best of me. For a long time too. It took a couple months for me to get out of my head and relax.
But if you go about talking to him about it, be careful with how you say things. I felt like i was attacked over it and it was something wrong with me. It *really* fucked with me even more so..
If he’s not willing to talk about it, there’s not much you can do. It might be healthy issues (poor circulation, hormonal imbalance), it might be insecurities, it might be other stuff…
I would assume he just has trouble being fully erect. I can actually control whether I’m fully erect or not. My ex was uncomfortable when I was fully erect and claimed it was too painful to ride so I grew accustomed to not being fully erect until it was time to cum.
Whatever you do don’t for one second think you’re the issue. I’m sure you’re beautiful and he is attracted to you, I just think it’s an issue he has.