He doesn’t allow me to orgasm because he’s afraid

38 comments

1. Do with me then

2. I wouldn’t waste more time on a man who actively chooses not to satisfy me. I won’t play those games.

3. He is completely unreasonable. Obviously cumming will cost you energy. Doesn’t mean you lose interest… I feel for you 🙁

4. No he is not. . But you guys should work together

5. He needs to grow up and make you cum

6. So he wants an orgasm how he likes it every single time but he won’t allow it to you. He’s selfish.

7. reasonable? no

8. Why in the hell would you have sex with someone who is actively trying to prevent your pleasure? Move on from that bullshit.

9. Well, he is somehow feeling that you are less engaged and uninterested after you cum, so is he right? I mean, you did indicate that. I have always wanted to make sure my partner is satisfied first before I finished. Maybe it is just me. Maybe if you tried to be more engaged in pleasuring you man (after you have been pleasured) it will work out. Good luck!

10. He is selfish and should be made to feel ashamed

11. Easy. Make an effort to stay engaged after you orgasm. Men hate to feel like their partner is just “letting it happen”. He wants to feel like you’re in the moment together.

12. He sounds like a dick

13. Too many men think only about themselves. In effect, they are masturbating. The only difference is they’re using a woman to do it. They don’t realize they are shooting themselves in the foot. They’d have more fun by not being selfish. There’s a much better way

14. Maybe has an orgasm control/denial kink. My partner an I do this cause she’s kinda a one an done. That said these things should be discussed to ensure all parties are on board, sounds like that didn’t happen.

15. If he doesn’t want to get you off, but expect to get off himself then he is selfish, immature and entitled.
    I’d give an ultimatum. It’s either you guys break up, or you get to orgasm as much as he does.
    Personally I would just end it, but I’m 30 and I refuse to waste my time with men like that.

16. If this is a relationship that you want to save and enjoy being with him then explain to him after getting yours a couple of times you need time to build up again it’s not that you’re not interested anymore it just takes time to rebuild I’ve been with a couple of women that way and there’s nothing wrong with it but you need to make sure he understands that and if he still keeps doing the same thing then he’s just being selfish and doesn’t care how you want to have things with him still good luck hun

17. That sucks tbh

18. Do you think you lose interest after you cum? Are you able to have multiple orgasms with him? Maybe giving that a shot would help him be more open minded?

19. So he is selfish and you both lack communication. Talk to him about it

20. I’ve always thought the most exciting, gratifyingly erotic experience a man could have is the feeling of sending a woman over the edge and having her convulse in however many orgasms I’m able to bring her to. Whatever level of “energy” remains afterwards for me to enjoy is a plus. This guy doesn’t want a woman — he wants an animatronic sex doll.

21. can you describe his dick ? asking for a friend…

22. Fuck this guy. Not literally. If he can’t or won’t understand then it’s time to move on. I mean orgasm denial and control can be fun when it’s consented, but that clearly is not the case here. Does he not understand the concept of multiple orgasms?

23. >I orgasm a few times and would be less energized while he still fucks

    this is normal for both men and women, orgasms can be exhausting (and multiple, good for you girl)

    >Nowadays, he doesn’t let me cum. Everytime I’m close to cumming, he would pull put and rest because he’s afraid I would cum then lose interest. He would always cum first then help me cum after by fingerings or eating me out. I enjoy it, but sometimes it’s so frustrating because when I’m in the moment, I want to enjoy it
    >
    >I have talked with him, but he doesn’t understand.

    well, a bit of edging is nice in and of itself, but have you actually told him DURING the act that he should continue and not after it?

    >Is he being unreasonable?

    unreasonable? Maybe… Misguided through misunderstanding your needs? Definitelly YES

    have you tried to bring up a Couple Counceling? Maybe there is more misunderstanding between you both than just your sexual needs?

24. I dunno what I’m reading in these replies.

    If the roles were reversed, and this was a guy complaining that his female partner made an effort to come first since he loses interest after he gets there, he’d be rightfully lambasted for being selfish.

    Now the one time it’s a woman who’s getting there too early, wouldn’t ya know it, it’s the guy being called selfish yet again.

    You can’t just lie there after you orgasm (exaggeration based on the “less energetic” comment) then get annoyed when he tries to delay said orgasm so he can enjoy himself too.

25. Sounds like a selfish prick.

26. I understand the less energized after the orgasm as im the same, my legs go jello and its gets a little too senstitive down there so i suck it or we go a little slower until im back to “normal” and we get back to being busy and then he cums. Other times i wont orgasm until he does or even after he cums and then we take care of me. Its about sharing and enjoying each other without being greedy. He is being greedy rn and i understand his side of it but the whole pulling out when your close, thats bs. Communicate with him.

27. I mean I would stop halfway through before he finishes and see how he likes it but I’m also petty lol but for real have a chat with him, if you can’t get on the same page move on and make it known the reason you’re leaving is because he outright refused to please you.

28. Sounds like you need to be with someone who prioritizes your pleasure and doesn’t pull shit like this

29. Realistically, it should just be whoever cums first, does so. He should be willing to at least take turns on who cums first if it’s a concern to him. He should NOT be denying you any pleasure.

30. Projection? Does he lose interest after cumming and thus assume you do too? Regardless it is a dick move if you aren’t looming to be denied. Next time he does it and you’ve already told him not to, just finish yourself off.

31. Unless you have an already agreed upon D/s dynamic, your partner doesn’t get to decide if you cum. Fuck that controlling mentality. People will call me extreme but I would bet money he eventually becomes abusive in some regard or another.

32. Whut?

33. Have you all talked at all about this issue? If he’s taking it as a sign of losing interest, maybe you either need to hold back on cumming or make sure you give him attention afterwards?

34. “Move on” ? Ignore this awful advice, talk to him repeatedly until he understands. Sounds like a problem

35. That’s really weird. I’m not sure why he wouldn’t want to make you cum.

36. When the internet saves your soul. Bug the fuck out. Imagine hanging with someone that is actively curtailing your pleasure. I’m glad you had the sense to ask. Please act. Good luck.

37. While he is being selfish and approaching this the wrong way I am also curious what you mean by “less energized” and “lose interest”.
    What exactly do you do in those moments?

    I say that because how you’re feeling now might be how he’s been feeling every time you’ve lost interest. Where he wants to cum and enjoy it while you’re both into it but once you finish you don’t maintain that same enthusiasm so it feels frustrating for him. One could say “he’s still getting off” but then that same logic applies with him using his fingers or oral.

    I feel like there is a better compromise/way of resolving this where both of you can enjoy sex without it feeling like a race to who cums first and the other is left with subpar seconds. But it might not be worth it if he is being selfish.

    He might have great dick, know how to use it, and have you orgasming so easily it’s actually causing an unintended strain. And yeah that is pretty rare to find, but I don’t think it’s worth it if he isn’t willing to work with you at all. But also a relationship isn’t one sided. I don’t want to be presumptuous so I’ll ask, when he mentioned that he felt it was upsetting that once you orgasmed you lose interest how did you go about resolving that so you both could be satisfied?

38. He’s being unreasonable The problem at hand is your lack of stamina compared to him. So you need to work on it. Take responsibility instead of focusing on him being unreasonable and just tell him you don’t appreciate his solution because it’s controlling.

    I imagine it is pretty frustrating for both of you.