So by nature we go on apps and swipe, most of us I would guess until we hit a daily limit. If you then get multiple matches and start conversations with them, some obviously weed themselves out pretty quickly but SOME percentage of them stay on the hook. As those conversations progress you get to a point where it’s time to ‘poop or get off the pot’ so to speak and go on a date, how are you going on dates like this but NOT multi-dating? I want to get better at letting stuff progress with individual people one at a time but then what do you do with your other matches?? If something doesn’t pan out with the first person you’re seeing it can be hard to go back to others you’ve matched with to try and fire that back up, it just seems like such a conundrum because then you’re right back to swiping again.
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It’s pretty easy when nobody acknowledges your existence.
Two unique women interacting with me in the same 3 month season would be a 800% increase in success rate.
My last boyfriend used hinge and didn’t do a lot of swiping. He’d get a match and by grace of God they would assemble single file so he could chat and see things through with one person before proceeding to the next if it didn’t work out.
I think the key here is minimal swiping so your matches trickle in instead of getting the new user boom.
This is definitely going to differ between people who are conventionally attractive and those who aren’t. Also those who are in a metropolitan area and/or become addicted to the swiping/liking software. I am in all camps and find it impossible to not multidate. I have three dates coming up in the upcoming week
If the first date doesn’t work out continue on with a different prospect. If it does work out then take the risk of losing your other prospects while focusing on the one in front of you.
I wouldn’t consider it multi-dating until you are planning a second date while also simultaneously going on a date with a different individual.
is this like some kind of flex or something? comes off pretty arrogant and ignorant
Having done this…pretty much everyone is on a three week cycle. That’s enough for three dates if you are only available on weekends. By then you should have decided if they are relationship material…most won’t be. No probs…you have been working the system and have another person lined up for the next three weeks.
You can reach master level when you have four cycles of three dates going at a time. If you have some program management skills this should be a fairly simple task.
Multi dating is kind of the norm, but you definitely want to keep that to yourself. Stay hydrated, stay protected!
I’m annoyingly selective and when I match with someone who has real potential I stop swiping. I’m too busy to be juggling too many dates with different people 🤷🏻♀️ Sometimes things might overlap a bit, but I don’t aim for it.
I just don’t do a lot of swiping. I don’t have enough bandwidth to keep up with too many chats at a time so the only time I swipe a lot is when I hit zero active chats. I do multi date, but usually have a very small number on the go (1-2). The way I see it, if I have too many going, I’m going to lose potential connections because I either won’t have time to respond or I won’t be able to keep track of what we’ve talked about. When I’ve dated too many at a time they start to blur together and it gets awkward on dates when you have zero idea what you’ve previously discussed.
You have to define multi-dating in this context.
Hear me out: I can have 20 matches and 0 responses/conversations. I can be having 10 conversations in an app today and 0 tomorrow. I can have 3 dates lined up this week and 0 second dates. These situations aren’t multi-dating to me. I’m not going to stop other conversations just because I set up one meet-up. With OLD, I think until you have been on a few dates over a couple weeks’ timespan, it’s not really dating.
I don’t have enough engagement to weed out multiple people 🤷🏾♂️
Those of us who can’t get one date.
Interesting takes here! I personally find myself pretty intuitive and can tell if the chemistry and potential is there after two-ish dates…in which case i focus on that person. I suppose this comes from a mixture of being discernible in swiping in choosing who to meet up with. But clearly i am not the majority! And has yet to lead to a LTR. I find many people have one foot out the door from the start…..
I’m lucky to get just one match, the idea I can have multiple women chatting to me is absurd.
Idk, my matches are less than because I have a kinda shoddy profile to weed out people who think they’re better than. So I haz less matches. Also I prefer to wreck one relationship at a time. Ya know like really focus on fucking it up.
Im on a few and im lucky if i get any dates lol
I would say there’s nothing wrong with talking to multiple people at a time, as long as all parties are aware of the circumstances.
This is why some people make a huge deal of “exclusivity” because for them, as long as you haven’t agreed to it, the other party shouldn’t expect you to be “tied down” to them.
Of course, if you prefer talking to one person at a time, then you’ll just have to accept that sometimes it doesn’t work out and your previous matches may or may not be available.
I think it’s just part of dating and what you’re comfortable with.
Well firstly I don’t swipe until I hit a daily limit. Pretty much all my matches are people who have swiped on me first, so I swipe, we match and then I take it from there. If the conversation goes well I don’t match other people, I will just keep conversing with them. If they’re not that interesting I might continue swiping and match with someone else but I never match with more than three people at a time.
When I do have three matches it’s because they aren’t that responsive or they were then faded into the background. So there was like one time I went on three dates in a week because those matches finally made moves for concrete plans. I generally find I’m not interested in most people after that first date so I have never found myself multi dating.
I don’t get the assignment. Talk to matches. Plan to meet, decide where to go from there. If you CHOOSE to engage in other conversations than you plan outings with them and decide where you want these dates to progress to? Not every one will hit, assume your matches also have other matches and have multiple conversations going on as well. Someone will choose someone over you, just as you will them. But multi dating like, Monday is Dan, Tuesday is Steve, Thursday is Ryan and Saturday is Jack? Some people just do it? I personally don’t care to juggle multiple people, while I want to date I also like spending time alone and with friends/family so I choose to focus on one person. If that doesn’t work out? Several million more people await, swipe right?
>If you then get multiple matches
Most of use aren’t as attractive as you. I’ll get one match every few months. That’s plenty of time between matches to decide whether we’re compatible.
Thank you! I don’t get this either! I put my profile up at noon and because someone messages me at 12:01, I’m supposed to ignore every potential good match and message that comes afterwards? Heck no.
I currently am in discussions with 3 people. Two of which I was on a single date with. Last week I was messaging with 7, and had 2 first dates. Obviously a few people have been filtered out, should I have ignored the more promising matches simply because one of those who I’m no longer talking to had messaged first?
I don’t consider myself to be ‘dating’ someone till 3+ dates. Up to that point, I am just meeting new people.
You’re assuming everyone is getting lots of matches and lots of conversations at the same time. For alot of people that isn’t how it is.
Its actually really easy. Just arrange one date and no others. If it works out on the date you dont ask anyone else out. If it goes wrong you ask someone else out you like.
Its actually really simple now that I write it.
The reason I dont multi-date is not due to thinking i’m morally superiour. Its just that I have a life where I work, go to the gym, read books, see friends – and I dont have 3 nights spare a week for dating different people.
In my case it is pretty easy. I have restrictive dating criteria (childfree) in a moderately populated area and a weak but slowly improving profile as I gather better pictures. I think I’m pretty good looking but somewhat unconventional by choice so that probably factors in too. Once I have a match the expected payoff from swiping is so low it isn’t worth the time, especially sinve 95% of my matches come from messages on Hinge. At max I’ve had two active matches at once and I did go on dates with both of them in 5 day span. I would multi-date if the opportunity came up but even if I max out my profile my criteria and location would make multi-dating unlikely. Maybe I’d have gone on dates with 10 women since February instead of 5 but I don’t think there would be much overlapping.
Look it is possible I went on dating app, and bc my standards are usually pretty high I found matches once in a blue moon so automatically I only get to date one at a time
*What do you know about the multi-date?*