My husband (31) and I (28) have been together for 6 years. We get along great and love each other. But we don’t have sex often… it’s been about two months actually.
We’ve talked about it. His drive is lower than mine. I’d prefer to have sex much more frequently, and I think he would too honestly, but we’ve just got stuck in a rut of coming home from work and zoning out. We’ve been stressed. We’ve had conversations about it – and he says he wants to have sex more often as well – but he gets down on himself and has a hard time initiating it. I’ve got tired of being the only one initiating it in the past so I’ve stopped. It also really turns me on to have him pursue me and show he really wants me, and since he hasn’t, I just haven’t been feeling sexy in general…
I want to break this cycle. I want to do something to really turn him on and then maybe talk after about doing it more. I feel like it’s more appealing bringing it up after we’ve had fun… idk. Any suggestions?
5 comments
Wear something sexy or be naked. Send him some naughty pics or messages
It doesn’t sound that sexy, but scheduling sex can be helpful if both people involved really want to work on having sex more often. Make plans to hang out and have sex one day!
Have you tried to have an open conversation about what he desires sex wise? Maybe if you walk him through his desires his confidence will grow to be more assertive to initiate it?
I’ve been there! It’s so easy to get stuck in a rut. I second scheduled sex, it’s really fun all the teasing building up to it. you could get one of those couples sex toy calendars or sets to spice things up a bit. One thing I recommend is lots of blowjobs. With permission waking him up with one especially is a really good way of showing how much you want him. The more blowjobs the more sex I get. The more I make him feel lusted after the more it’s lifted his libido. You just need the confidence to do something new to break the cycle. Could be a weekend away. Book a hotel and tell him you just want to reconnect. Sometimes that change of scenery helps initiate the conversation.
Masturbating together helped me and my wife get back into it after a weird place. It takes a lot less mental overhead and is kind of exciting too.