I am a 23F have been single for about a year and the last few months decided to more seriously put myself out there. I typically date up to 30. I find that a lot of grown men want a photo once we start texting. Not a nude photo just a photo even though I have like 10 on my profile. I am a “mid size” athletic girl and all my photos are recent. I am not a catfish and up to meeting in person. So I really don’t get why I get these requests. Once someone asks I get the ick lol. It’s off putting and seems they are focused on something else to me.
Can a male explain why this is so common?
30 comments
A lot of people are out there cat fishing. A new, candid photo not on your profile helps confirm that you actually look like your profile suggests.
I don’t know – what do they say when you ask them?
there’s a lot of bots out there.
most want to to confirm
Same reason why women ask us for pics too
Just stating truth here, they either curious about your figure/weight(i know thats shallow) or they are making sure you arent a bot/catfisher. 29(m) here not looking for an argument, just my opinion.
Man here. I don’t ask for pics, so I don’t really know why guys are asking for it. But I do ask for video chat to avoid any catfish and eliminate women that are not serious about dating. Maybe the next time you get asked for a pic, instead offer a video chat.
It’s not just about grown men asking for pictures. I see pictures as a way of communicating feelings and a whole lot more. Are you shy to show off your beauty ?
Male here, sending pics is a way of flirting. Also let’s us know what you’re like IRL. Everyone knows we choose the best photos of ourselves to post. I wanna see you when you’re out and about, Every day you. I don’t ask for a pic unless we’ve been dating for a lil bit and Though.
Had a woman send me a pic one time and it was over a year old. When I asked why she sent a old one she said “you didn’t say you wanted a recent one”. Passed on her quick.
And it’s not a grown man thing it’s a man thing. Also, women do it too.
Maybe you should tell them to check out your IG if they want to see a pic of you.
They want to know you’re real.
I don’t ask for pictures, but if I’m suspicious I’ll ask you to say silly things or arrange a video call before a date. If they don’t work, I’ll arrange a very low effort first date.
Older guys just haven’t caught on to all the bs out there yet. Too trusting.
I don’t get the big deal with sending pics. Most people have tons of pics of them available various places on the internet…IG, websites, etc. Someone asking for pics is usually just trying to get a good feel for what you actually look like before meeting. I give people my IG and whatever pics they want. The last thing I want is someone disappointed when they meet me.
I’ve had guys ask for full body pics and then boom never hear from them again
Catfish and bots everywhere and more often make women too good to be true
After a close call I cant help but ask for a photo where they do something I ask like give a thumbs up or something, to prove its them
1) making sure you’re you, not everyone has a verified account and it’s rolling the dice.
2) no one knows how recent “recent” is. Within a few months I gained weight and though I didn’t think anyone could tell, most could so pictures from 3-4 months ago were no longer accurate despite me thinking so. Plus, some women like to dye their hair and if you don’t have pictures of that aged yo your profile and I go out and see my date’s hair a VASTLY different color than what I thought, I’m going to be a thrown off guard. Same if a guy has pics of him with hair and the first date he shows up bald. It’s a shock and just because we think a pic is “recent”, we all have different perception of what that means.
3) I like contact photos. Everyone has one in my phone even billing companies like AT&T. If my phone goes off from a distance I want to see if it’s worth looking so I like having a picture as a “warning” or a head up in case I can’t see the name. Plus, it feels more personal.
As a women I asked for a pic for a contact phone and to make sure you’re still an accurate representation that your profile had. Not everyone likes that and some get writes out, but I had reasons and if you don’t want to that’s how you feel.
Thanks for the responses. This gives me a better understanding of why this happens often.
It’s called catfishing. How do we know how old those pics might be? For all we know, your profile pics could be 20lbs ago or 4 years ago.
They are focused on knowing *who* they are *really* talking to rather than a picture that may be heavily edited, very filtered, or simply old.
TO SEE IF YOUR REAL!, we get completely fake people matching with us.
literally catfishes…guys pretending to be women to get money out of other men.
Sexworkers saying they will talk to us by asking us either to talk on another social platform or direct to a website that requires money to access it.
And most women don’t ever meet…it’s one way to see if your real.
I’ve never had anyone ask me for a photo and I’ve never asked someone for a photo, I think it’s more normal to do a video chat and meet before a date than ask for photos.
Adding that I’d probably get the ick as well and offer to FaceTime if they are worried you aren’t a real person?
women do the same thing and i dont get it either
Well considering that the vast majority of dating profiles I come across are either catfishes or bots i can understand why someone would ask for a picture. Though i think it should be a specific one that cant be replicated by bot accounts. Like a picture of you with your user name on a piece of paper or something. And The one asking for a picture should also be willing to do the same thing in turn.
Literally just to make sure you aren’t catfishing. I don’t go out with women anymore unless we FaceTime. Just is what it is.
I’m a girl, I’d want a photo too.
What’s wrong with sending a decent photo if asked. I think it’s perfectly normal
This happens probably as frequently with men tbh. Why are you getting so worked up? 1) you’re talking to them in this way, so I presume you’re at least somewhat interested 2) you’ve shared pictures in your dating profile, 3) you are willing to meet them face to face, so it’s not as though you can hide your face then.
Is it so unreasonable for people to verify they are speaking to the right person?
Not a male… but I’ve gotten those requests and I ask why every time cause I thought it was weird too. The majority of the answers I got were basically that they wanted to see me without having to go to the app. One guy said it was for his contacts…
we can’t tell if you’re fat (or whatever body type we’re not into)
I’m not a man, but yes its about catfish as well as other reasons that are not good
Girls have a habit of looking drastically different in real life than they advertise online. Many times it is night and day. I’ve sent selfies back and forth on Snapchat with every girl I’ve talked to pretty much. If you aren’t deceiving anyone of how you look, sending a pic of yourself shouldn’t give you the ick.
Idk I’ve had this happen with guys I met in person. After we met and chatted they’d ask me later to send pics. Not nudes just pics of me. I’m not sure why guys do this.
They are unsure if they find you attractive or not.
I honestly understand how it can be annoying bc you’ve posted so many pics of yourself. This happened to me. I’m a let’s meet up in person type of girl. I say avoid those people, there’s people out there who just like collecting pictures of people. You send one and they want a dozen more or when you ask for one they send you an old pic off their profile.
I’ve seen on TikTok men suggesting women to avoid these type of guys bc they’re not always asking with good intentions. Some people are weird and share your pics on group chats and make bets on you etc etc. I’ve personally seen it happen to close friends.
I see how it’s annoying but it’s part of online dating and you either ignore them or oblige but it’s up to you sis. I ignore them and met up with some really good people. One i had a 6 year relationship and another we’re dating and strong and i didn’t have to send a whole bunch of pics.
People are weird. Pictures aren’t everything. People take good angles and in person they’re not attractive and some people have average photos and are super attractive in person.