So, I should share a little bit of context. I met my girlfriend a couple of years ago through school. We went to the same school but we didn’t use to talk much.

This all changed when we started college.

We both started at the same time and for some months we weren’t close, but we ended up being super close when a guy she was flirting with became a complicated relationship. She was looking for someone that appreciates her for herself, and he was a fuckboy in it for the sex. But they never did anything, just flirting.

After that, we became friends, and I fell in love. Love that I confessed and was shut down on the spot before a holiday.

Lo and behold, as soon as I left for holidays she lost her virginity to this guy, just to start flirting with me after my two week holiday.

After flirting with me for a month, she fucked a mutual acquaintance (before having sex with me and after I requested it the same day but she wasn’t in the mood), just to start dating me a week after.

I know she truly fell in love and after our rocky start, we are doing great.

But I can’t get over the feeling that she felt safe with me but still chose someone else. That I’m missing out if I stay in this relationship.

And I know this is an ego trip, because she hated both previous times but she likes it with me.

Any advice to get over my feelings?

11 comments

  1. Good that you know it’s irrational and an ego trip. In the end, you can get over it, and enjoy your relationship with her or you can not get over it and go somewhere else. If losing your virginity mutually is important to you, then nobody is stopping you. But you’ll find that after the fact, even if it seems meaningful now, it almost certainly won’t after, or 2 or 5 years down the road.

    While a happy and successful first relationship will have lasting happy impacts on your future.

  2. I would’ve felt betrayed too if it was me. Has she apologized for it? And have you forgiven her?

  4. Sorry Buddy but this is her fault. Your the safe choice. When It came time to hook up she went with another guy. Good luck with this. You’ll need it. RUN!!!!

  5. Just an hypothesis :
    Might it be that you feel saddened that she was your first choice and you weren’t her’s to begin with ?

    Not trying to put you down or anything
    Been there before and you sound awfully similar
    I don’t feel that sex itself is rlly the pb here

  6. I’m sorry bro but you’re the safe option. You deserve better and you should stop haunting yourself with this relationship.

  7. This is what happened. She thought guys trying to screw her actually like her that much. Once she found out that they just wanted sex and couldn’t care less about her she went back to you. I think you are just a safe place holder. Sorry. When you graduate and go out in the world she will keep you around until a new guy shows up. But she’ll be back when that guy ghosts her. She is very immature. Just have fun and use protection. Get a DNA test if she gets preggers. Good luck.

  8. Stop being a Baby!
    She is with you, she likes you…
    Turn the page and do not look back.
    Good luck

  9. She lead you on and got with 2 different men then saw that they only wanted her for sex and then choose you after she shot you down. I personally wouldn’t have even dated her because if I’m not your 1st choice I don’t want you.

  10. Ok so let me correct 2 weird backwards ass notions. One is everyone saying this is her fault. No, just fucking no. OP you started dateing her and/or stayed with her knowing all of this. You had every oppurtunity to walk away and haven’t. So do not blame her now.

    Second at that age being the safe choice is not the worst thing. It sounds like she picked the safe guy. Cool, but then again she gave the friend a chance and wanted to see what it’s like. You have the chance to flip the script and become everything she wanted and the things she didn’t realize she needed. You can either stay insecure and prove the safe option lack of self confidence nice guy scheme true or you can focus on yourself a bit more. Then you can grow into the man who knows exactly what he wants and you can make it clear you are with her because you choose her. Not because she was the best you can get lucky enough land.

    Trust me that safe option shit hurts but frankly what you do with the chance once you have it is 100% on you. Not her.

  11. I’ll say this as gently as I can…you’re the safe guy.

    And when she gets bored (she’s 21 she will get bored) you’re getting your heart broke

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