There’s obviously the phenomena where the dumber the person the less aware they are of their own ignorance and stupidity, but some people are just so confident despite being leaving behind a trail of people who think they’re a prick and I just don’t know why they have so much more confidence than the next person, even arrogance, when they really have nothing to be arrogant about.
Is it a mindset that’s developed early on or a gene or what?
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It’s about knowing yourself the best. Some people have confidence and they have the actual skills/assets to back it up. While others just have confidence without any of the background. But if you meet someone with confidence. Is it better to assume they have the things to back it up or do you find out the hard way?
Like most things, it’s probably a good mix of nature and nurture. However, there’s a lot to say about self acceptance, not comparing oneself to others and simply working on being happy about who you are.
Including being comfortable that of not being extroverted. Extroversion is often being mistaken for confidence in my experience.
Having accomplishments, talents, and hobbies.
Being comfortable in your own skin, and not deriving your self worth from others.
Competence.
Confidence is not being out of your comfort zone.
It’s from their good friends Dunning and Kruger 😛
Genetics kind off. If your so full of energy, your full of life that’s why people with high energy couldn’t be bothered even if the world was burning around them.
It’s about education I think parenting has a lot to do with it, if your parents a super protectives it’s not good for you
How I found my confidence was fake it til you make it.
I stop bad talking myself. When I had a negative thought about myself I contradicted it with something I like about myself.
I got my own space and lived my life the way I wanted to live it.
I found happiness in solitude and continue to do things my way. Not everyone is going to like me and that’s okay. That was the case when I was an anxious mess too, but now I like me. I wear what I want to wear I say what I want to say, unless I have nothing nice to say, and even then sometimes I say it anyway.
I did meditation for a while to help actively fight the negative thought patterns and spent 2 years in therapy to rewire my brain.
confidence is a developed trait, some parents are better at helping that development than others.
The reason the mantra was in ‘the help’ was because she knew the white mother was going to be mean and nasty to that little girl, she wanted to set a foundation of self love to combat what her mother tells her.
Aderall
Mental illness or stupidity or ignorance..
I think it’s more to do with upbringing. Your family, how well you were socialised as a child and other people you were surrounded by whilst growing up. You can still learn confidence even if you didn’t have all that though.
You naturally get confidence by being successful. You do something and you succeed? You confidence grows. Just keep in mind, that confidence and competence are two different things. And being humble while being competent is a really charming combination.
Could give us an example, please? What do you have in mind, when you speak of confidence and have these type of certain people in mind?
They get their confidence from having hobbies, interests or things they’re genuinely good at or passionate about.
Even starting a new thing like palying a musical instrument or getting into fitness and actually seeing progress.
THAT is what will give you confidence not endless self help books and motivational videos. It’s when you take the action.
Experience. That what confident is.
Parents who loved them and wouldn’t shut up about it
Ive recently become ALOT more confident lately, and its all thanks to my cousin, she really put the mentality of *just do what you want* into my brain.
After thinking about it alot, it does make perfect sense.
You cant please everyone, so just please those who like you for you.
The majority of people on their death beds say their biggest regret in life is letting others tell them how to live their lives.
And also because doing what you want with friends or just with your self is alot more fun and waaaay less stressful.
My self worth was pretty close to zero between growing up in a toxic household where shame was used as a tool of control and school bullying.
Three things changed that.
I got involved in a 12 step program called Adult Children of Alcoholics, which helped me to see how much of my childhood was not a result of my being a bad person, but a result of the addiction and mental health issues of my parents.
Getting involved in a voluntary organisation where I could change the life of the people taking part in the service just by doing stuff that came easily to me, but they saw as remarkable.
Joining toastmasters. Getting better at public speaking helped me to “find my voice” as I got more comfortable speaking in front of others, I discovered that they valued my thinking and wanted to hear more from me.
I’ve noticed that people who are the most confident are typically attractive.
Knowing your stuff, having social experience, and silencing your inner critic are a couple of healthy ways of building confidence.
People told me I’m very confident but tbh that’s not true and I just learned to know myself pretty good when I got bullied at school. And because of whatever I did to make and keep friends they always chose someone else. I also speak to alot of people and infront of people alot. So I’m pretty comfortable in most social situations.
My ex used to be really arrogant and he has nothing to be arrogant for. I never understood how people could be like that.
But I also do believe some people just look arrogant. I have a resting bitch face and since I’ve been a kid people told me I look arrogant which made me afraid to be so.
Not everyone you meet is actually confident deep down
“Fake it till you make it”
I think it’s about feeling comfortable. The people who are confident and good people are more aware of the things that they did wrong, and want to fix them so not to feel bad anymore.
The arrogant confident people are blind and are probably putting on a show. They arn’t that confident but try to make it seem like they are. They leave destruction in their paths but want to keep the show up, so never address it. There are lots of people with very little confidence but they are just super social so you wouldn’t see it at first.
Varies for everyone. Some with age, success, experience, not giving a damn, naturally, etc.
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Find your own path
Self-acceptance. I like to say, be the person you are in private, with others. That is your true self. Be yourself. You like that version of yourself, yeah?
From ignorance.
By not giving a fuck
I hope I don’t leave behind me a trail of people who think I’m a prick but I just tell myself often that I’m confident and celebrate small things “hell yeah I put vegetables in my lunch box I am so responsible and great” it’s dumb in the beginning but after a while you start to believe it and then do things to keep proving to yourself that you really are confident and great