For some context:
Me and my boyfriend (23) let’s call him M,
Have been together for over 11 months now. We have been living and traveling 3 months in our camper van when I stared to have a hard time with my mental health problems (add/cptsd ) our relationship had been very good( besides the normal couple problems) but I needed to go home, so after making all the plans,and really enjoying the last days with each other I went back to my home country found a apartment. By day 4 of being back I noticed I was 3 days late on my period. After doing multiple test in the next days I was pregnant. And so M and I made new plans. In short we would spent the next 3 months apart to fix all the thinks we needed to do before we would become parents, and find a house to live in. Fast forward to another 4 days by now I was back almost 2 weeks, everything whent very good so far. so that night I had no idea it would became my worst nightmare. after waking up in the morning of the worst pain I every felt in body, I rushed my self to the hospital and had a miscarriage of 12 weeks, apparently it’s more common then we think to still have a period while pregnant. So the next morning When I told M he was sad but more so relieved for the thoughts of being a father, and so came the part where I don’t know what to do anymore, the moment I begged him to come home and be there for me, but all I got was a; “I know this is a hard time now baby, but u will get there. I love you talk to u later…
I’m broken and lost and the person how is supposed to be there for me is 3000km far living his life, he tells me how happy he is and how good he is doing while I cry everytime we speak on the phone, I don’t know what to do anymore, anyone advice ?
9 comments
You’ve been broken up with sadly. He didn’t want to be a father and now you’ve lost the baby (I am sorry for you) he has the perfect excuse to bail.
You should block him, heal and move on with your life.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself now. As for him, it’s unfortunate, but he may have just showed you his true colors. His refusal to be there with you during what may be the hardest time of your life thus far is unacceptable.
You should heal yourself. Let him go, block him and spend time with yourself and join an online community who have been through what you have for support and understanding.
If you aren’t coping please talk to a professional.
I’m terribly sorry for your loss. But. To be honest, it’s 3k miles and I wouldn’t jump to any conclusions just because he couldn’t make it to your place. Also, it is perfectly fine to be, on one hand, be relieved after hearing such news.
It seems like you haven’t made any effort to actually communicate with him beside crying over the phone, and it might be better to have more clear communication about why he can’t visit you and clearing up your own personal feelings.
I disagree harshly with the comments saying you’ve been dumped or that you should dump him, communication is key because he might have perfectly valid reasons, especially with you saying you guys wanted to figure stuff out.
So he basically said “I know this sucks but deal with it” and you’re still “together” with him? Yeah lol no mate that’s a breakup worthy response
Get a new boyfriend –> urgently.
I’m sorry for your loss. That’s a very traumatic experience to have alone. His absence is a reasonable reason to end the relationship.
It’s over. It was over BEFORE you found out you were pregnant, which is partly why he isn’t as upset as you are. I hope you heal in every way.
yeah your relationship is over. move on and block him so he doesn’t try to come back into your life later on.