TLDR: I am in love with someone who has relationship OCD and cannot love me back, even if we both want it. Does anyone know how to make it work? (if it is even possible)
So I am in a difficult situation. I have completely fallen in love with a friend. This friend also knows this and we have talked about it a lot, but they want nothing else but a friendship, because they are suffering from relationship OCD (meaning they will go crazy when in a relationship).
Throughout the time we spend together, we are both agreeing a lot that we are “perfect” for each other and we both like each other a lot in every sense. Also I don’t want anyone but this friend. So I keep falling in love, but am met with the wall of “this will never be a relationship”, because of these issues.
So what can be done to make it work? Has anyone ever managed to be with someone with these issues? My friend doesn’t really know about this either or what helps, and is getting help to fix it, but there is never a guarantee, or it might take years and years to finally work, and even then who knows if we would still be as close as we are. I don’t want to rush this, but also this is also making me feel miserable.
And before anyone says, no, I don’t want to let go of this person. We are such good friends that distancing ourselves is impossible.
3 comments
This seriously sounds made up. I’m thinking this person is just too immature to turn you down. And I’m speaking as a person with actual diagnosed (as in a doctor not web md) OCD.
If you think it will stay like this, that it would be a one sided relationship with you not getting any love back, please think it through. Especially if you haven’t felt like this for so long, then it’s probably easier to back out now than later? You also can’t force a relationship on someone who doesn’t want it.
Is this person actively in therapy?
> but they want nothing else but a friendship
The end they are not interested. Regardless of their reasons this is their choice. If they want to try a relationship they should talk to their therapist about ways to work on it. You will need to accept this is a big effort that may fail anyway. However, if their answer is no then you need to move on. Either be friends or accept you can’t handle that.